Friday's Cry For Help

Friday, December 8, 2006

Okay…challenging topic. I’ve broken it into sections because word has it I’m a little verbose, and some folks just want the facts…which I eventually get to…eventually…:

Preface:
Since we have had to accept the route of disability, we knew we would not be able to make our bills for the next 3 months and we have been racking our brains trying to creatively figure out a way to meet our living expenses. We have exhausted just about everything on our list and down towards the bottom of the list was something called a benevolent or trust account, something a friend suggested to us to pursue. A benevolent account is one where the account is set up as a trust, and folks can “donate” to the trust and end up with some kind of write off. We found out today that the cost to open such an account is $1000.00 so that’s out of the question, unfortunately.

Cutting To The Chase:
Our bottom line is that my income from work stopped in mid-November and we are in serious need of financial help to get through the next 3 months, until I can resume full time work with a full time wage. Anyone reading this is in a position to help us please pray about it and see if that is workable. I’ve asked my parent’s to be the point of contact for any help that may come from this.
Their phone number is 650-591-6812 and their email addresses are l.odum@comcast.net and d.odum@comcast.net and any help you might be able to send can go to them and they will see to its deposit on our behalf.
I’m uncomfortable to my core asking for help.

Immediate Concern:
Our mortgage payment this month is due by the 15th (in 7 days) and even IF the insurance company accepts the claim (they should have a decision made by the 15th), the insurance payments won’t begin until some time after the 15th.
Though this is not generally a topic of conversation, for reasons pertaining to our cry for help I am including it. Our monthly mortgage payment is roughly $2,750.00 of which we have $0.00 due to my lack of income from the second half of November.
Insurance payments should total 60% of my normal pay and my checks went to mortgage, gas and groceries while CC’s checks from her part time position with Kaiser go to bills, utilities and groceries, etc. Due to the fact that she is the only stable driver for the family and is the care giver for her mother who lives with us, she cannot go full time with Kaiser at this point in our lives.

Wade’s Clarification and State of Mind:
I do realize that I did not bring on this medical scenario myself and that life happens. I have some friends and family who feel pretty strongly that giving money simply to help folks out of situations is senseless because the real answer to is teach them how not to find themselves in the needing circumstance or situation. Though I am familiar and agree with the analogy that “it is better to teach hungry folks how to fish instead of just supplying fish for their meals”, these circumstances are not commonplace in our lives and our situation unfamiliar to us; we were unprepared for this turn of events.
I don’t know how to continue this entry at this point. I wasn’t sure what I was going to write in the first place, only that I felt I needed to write something instead of trying to individually ask certain people that I perceive might be in a position to help. I don’t even want to ask ANYONE in the first place.

Lastly and importantly:
If you feel my (this) approach is inappropriate in any way, please forgive me, I can honestly say and write that I don’t know what else to do.
Seriously, if you have any practical suggestions for us, please email me at v12.pilot@comcast.net or call me on my cell, which you should have.

peace-

w

Thursday Reflections Finsihed

Thursday, December 7, 2006 pt. 2

So, let’s take another look at the list of tasks for today:

call on the disability claim to find out its status (Done)
Drink a silly amount of water/fluid (Done)
contact Member Services regarding reimbursing us for the Cardy Meter (Not done)
prepare a writing (Not done)
see if I can turn out an article on Media Technologies for a magazine (Not done)
Drink more silly amounts of water/fluid (Done)
Clean up the “Music Room” from its initial setting up (started but unfinished)
see if last night’s lyrical outburst is a fluke (Done)
Call on 0% cards for a balance transfer (Done)
Drink more silly amounts of water/fluid (Done)
And some more things that aren’t coming to mind yet…

I did pretty well with progress today but got overwhelmed with the 0% cards thing; So much small writing, paragraphs nearly impossible to read, similar wording with minor changes in details. It was hard to keep it all logical. I made pretty good progress; learned that AmEx doesn’t offer 0% on transfers and that some on-line credit card companies don’t even have phone numbers listed for contact. You are to get their number from your billing statement.
Right.

I moved the stereo system, that I’d had in my office, to my house for the party that didn’t happen on my birthday and it has been just sitting, taking up space in the living room since then and tonight I got the drive to move it, one speaker at a time, over to the TV area and hook it up to the DVD player so I can listen in reasonable fidelity. I had tried to watch a Dream Theater DVD through the TV and the audio was distorted, so that called for immediate measures to be considered. It’s not forever, it may not even be for the weekend, but it is for right now. :-o)

It’s a little after midnight and I need to call it pretty soon.
Let’s see…Oh yeah, I wrote another set of lyrics tonight…I’m pretty stoked about the inspiration coming back. I also took another musical idea from this morning and embellished on it to create a decent idea to consider. I had received a new down load of some very cool loops that I was pleased to check out and put to use. Cool loops and the use of laptop recording has brought about a new flame in my musical fire that had been all but snuffed. I honestly had resigned myself to its death and so this is very cool within the hell that seems to be haunting.

I didn’t need the cane so much today. Pretty cool. Also, my buddy from yesterday’s breakfast had come by last night to drop off a couple books on the Apostle Paul for me to check out and see if I can do a study on him by myself. We have tried to get ourselves into a small bible study with friends and even colleagues, but nothing has ever taken shape, so it is time for me to see if I can be disciplined enough to get it done.

I’d like to ask for prayer again; a situation is present and CC and I need to figure out how we can approach it and deal with it; we need to know how to address it and if we are doing the right thing. This reads pretty cloak and dagger and this is nothing of that sort, but we have a challenge in front of us and we have to deal with it.
Please pray for guidance and His comfort in our hearts and for both of us to be of one mind.

As you probably know, we need prayers ALL THE TIME and this is just a “one off” because a deadline is inovled.

Nearing 12:30, I’m done.
More tomorrow when I can think straighter, remember more and type better (Praise God for Spell Check)…

-Peace

Thursday Morning Reflections

Thursday, December 7, 2006

What a difference a night makes, as well as antibiotics. I slept most of the way through the night with no real issues and woke up this morning with some fair congestion coating the sore throat, but at least the throat’s not killing me. I feel fairly rested as well and a like I’m a good distance from yesterday’s anxiety. My head’s more level at least. Stomach hates me but my heads more level...

There’s work to be done today for sure;

• call on the disability claim to find out its status
• Drink a silly amount of water/fluid
• contact Member Services regarding reimbursing us for the Cardy Meter
• prepare a writing
• see if I can turn out an article on Media Technologies for a magazine
• Drink more silly amounts of water/fluid
• Clean up the “Music Room” from its initial setting up
• see if last night’s lyrical outburst is a fluke
• Call on 0% cards for a balance transfer
• Drink more silly amounts of water/fluid

And some more things that aren’t coming to mind yet…

So, I’ll begin my advance on the list and see how I do. I feel pretty badly sick-wise, but my mind is in a better place for the time being.

We just had two Watchtower gals come by offering a us a book to read for the holidays. Annie was outside in the back so they were greeted by CC and then me. I was telling CC that they don’t deserve to be greeted by Annie (through the steel and Plexiglas storm door) unless they are hesitant to take “No thank you. I work for Fair Oaks Presbyterian Church and am pretty set on my reading materials.” for an answer. If they are persistent, then I feel it is fine for them to be greeted by the largest of our four-legged family members. No need this time.
Digression: It brings to mind one day a week or so ago when I was going to leave for someplace and had noticed a “youth” being dropped off by a black Camaro, down and across the street (It’s not uncommon for “kids” or youths to be dropped off in neighborhoods and then monitored by the “sponsor” in the car who makes sure that the kids go from house to house soliciting whatever they have. Sometimes these are totally good kids and the vehicle is a large van with lots of kids or youths to canvas an area, and then there are times like the one I’m recounting where the look and feel of it is pretty shady.) and since I was going to be gone when this kids likely came by, I locked the storm door but left the front door open and left Annie in the house with Nana. I instructed Nana not to open the door for any reason, or we’d be sued, but to leave Annie inside with her so that a clear message was sent in advance of the youth’s actual approach at the door (When Annie is inside, she normally hears or sees folks on the street and generally on the walkway and begins to bark rather ferociously.). When I returned I asked if anything had happened and she said that it went down as I had suggested it might; The youth came up the driveway and Annie began to bark but as he approached the front door Annie became very concerned and barked accordingly. Nana Said she told the guy that we were not interested in buying anything and that the guy became upset and telling her that she should buy something and when she said “no” he threw his arms up in the air in frustration and kinda yelled at her about not evening looking at what he was selling so she suggested she open the door and he began to back down the walkway and swore at her. The scary thought is what would he have been trying to do if Annie wasn’t there? I felt very good about the message he received and hope that if he was on the up and up, that he would learn to take “no” as an answer more graciously, especially if he wants to continue cold-calling potential customers like homeowners or renters.

Anyway, on to the day and a few Ritz crackers and some water…fun, fun, fun.


-w

Wednesday Evening, December 6th

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Well, as you may or may not know from my previous post, today has been a tough day on many fronts, but there have been a couple victories. I noted in a previous blog from today that my appointment for the second opinion has been moved up to next week on Thursday at 8:30 AM in Walnut Creek. That is a definite praise. Also, from out of the blue, I was inspired to write some lyrics again; first time in 8 years. I had watched a video on Phil Collins and his retrospective look at the making of one of his first albums “Face Value”, and in fact, it may have been his first album/solo work. The video chronicles each song’s origin both lyrically and musically and is a telling of his life at that time through his own words as well as the words of the musicians who played for and with him on the album, his long time engineer and former band-mates from Genesis. As it turns out, it was very inspiring on many levels for me and, though I have no clue as to whether or not the two penned stories from tonight will ever see the light of day in a recorded or performed sense, just to be able to embrace the mindset to vent in that manner is a gift without measure. I suppose pain truly is an incredible motivator.

To back-track briefly to this afternoon’s premature post, I feel the need to apologize again to the 5 or so folks who unfortunately came upon my written vent from earlier. I actually embarrassed that I posted it in a moment of pretty sincere anger and fear and though eventually I will address the bulk of it, I will address it accordingly and with control. For those who are reading this thinking that you must have missed out on something, you didn’t really. If I hadn’t done it I wouldn’t have to apologize. Enough said.

Strep has weakened me and it began to do so when I was at breakfast with my friend this morning. I feel like I’m several steps backs from the progress I had made physically in that I’m weaker and very tired. The nausea has been nasty and is quite frustrating.

Okay, well it’s 11:12 PM and I’m absolutely wiped out.

Prayers for healing are coveted (still…)

Peace
w

Wednesday: More tunnels clarified

I have edited the former entry from today, removing some witten concerns which need not be vented on this platform, so if you've not read anything until now, cool. If you're having a second look, then it's different from earlier, appropriately so.
-w

Wednesday: More tunnels so far...

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 *Edited*

Once again I woke up around 4:00 with brutal sore throat and headache, but cannot take anything because I was fasting for a lab test later this morning. Talk about tough and unpleasant.

The kids got up and going, Missy even before me and before CC left for work, because Missy is now at the age where she has to shower every day, wash her hair daily, so she’s up around 5ish each morning. Josh is also up before CC leaves but is brought in to our bed where is has a hard time with CC’s departure and needs some consoling before he goes back to sleep for the 45 minutes or so before I have to wake him up again to get ready for school. Our morning system needs some serious tweaking.
After getting them ready for school, I traded my truck for A friend’s car for the day because he needed to tow a trailer of stuff from one place to another and has a few trips to do, so he came by around 8ish to change vehicles and then Derald came by around 8:25 to pick me up and take me to a doctor’s appointment and lab test in Roseville. Turns out that the Diabetes Retinal screening is actually a class over and hour long and they put a couple medicines in your eyes and then gauge the condition of the eyes, so you can’t drive yourself home from the appointment. No doubt about that, my head hurt when I left and my eyes were far from happy about the forced dilation. Derald and I left the appointment, went to the lab where it took the tech a few tries to succeed in finding the vein…I’ll not go into my feelings about that…you can likely guess as to my frame of mind thereafter. We left Kaiser and went to eat at a place called Annie’s in Orangevale. We enjoyed the meal and I felt had a very cool and in depth dialog on a variety of topics, as is our norm. During the breakfast, I received a call from Kaiser and answered it (when the cell phone rang, I had to hand it to Derald for him to read who the call was from because I couldn’t see/focus for anything; the display was a small blur) and after speaking to the nurse on the line, learned I am positive for Strep (Sorry Derald) and that the meds will be called in shortly. During our breakfast, I was increasingly feeling worse and after he brought me home, I’ve been down on the couch ever since. Lord knows that I am in no way comparing myself to Job, but I am questioning a possible family connection…I mean, come on. Now Strep? The temptation to swear is overwhelming at points, currently. Add to this the new issue of finding out AFTER I got horizontal on the couch that the internal DVD player on this laptop is now no longer working…it worked fine a couple days ago…but not now.
With all that is going on, CC has been driving steadily since 11:00 this morning, it’s now 2:10, and during her last travel, went up to Kaiser before coming home sp she could pick up my antibiotics, only to be told that they won’t be ready until after 5:00 PM “Sorry, Ma’am, you should have been informed that when you received the call. It’s not our fault; you simply have to wait your turn. Come back after 5:00.” Uh…to say she was “unhappy” doesn’t quite capture her mood or disposition at that moment and I know because she called me from the pharmacy to let me know she was on her way home without them.

The ONLY light in this mass of uncertainty is that Member Services called and they got me a sooner appointment with the doc on Walnut Creek, an appointment for next week. As cool as that is, it is drowned out by the rest of today's realities. Sucks.

At the heart of our concerns and stresses, non-medically (since we have that column filled completely currently) is the reality now that I am on disability from work and we have not been contacted by the insurance company as to whether or not they have accepted the claim.
...

Some of you may have read past this earlier, but I was uncomfortable with the post and have regretted having posted it in its entirety, so it will end here with uncertainty in the lead.

Perhaps more tonight.
peace-

-w

Tuesday and Monday, two days for the price of one...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Nothing remotely witty to think of as a starting point, so…skip it.

I just realized that I didn’t write anything for yesterday…I guess I was tired.
Yesterday was working on some music for part of the morning and then heading over to Mr. Fetter’s for some down-time away from the phones and computer and home front. He and I chilled at his place, ate some home made skillet-queso (CC’s recipe) which meant I consumed some tortilla chips with mild regret, and we watched the G3 video from Denver and then one of the discs from Rush R30 DVD package. He’s got a killer sound set up in his casa and a lazy-boy couch which will kickback and recline, no less. A good time was had by all involved…er, uh, both of us. It was very cool to just hang out and watch some concert footage with another musician as well as someone who shares similar tastes.
I came home from there and shortly there after was aware that my system was pissed off at me for having eaten the chips (both corn and salt, in particular). I noticed while at Craig’s that I was having muscle spasms in both feet, legs and hips for the better part of the time I was there, after I ate the chips. Once I got home, I was feeling pretty poorly and just wanted to lie down and have it all go away. I went to sleep fairly early…That’s why no blog last night…Duh. I remember now.

This morning started initially at 4:00 Am when I woke up from a viscous sore throat and immediately thought “Missy had strep a week plus ago…uh oh.” And CC was up and going getting ready for work, so she went and got me some Tylenol and some water and I was able to retreat back to slumber after the drug kicked in.
I woke up when Missy came in the room and I told her that I would not be getting them ready to go this morning and that they would need to take care of it themselves, which they did; I was very proud. Missy even made French Toast for Joshua. I did get up prior to them leaving and finished making Joshua’s lunch in time for him to pack it and be ready to leave. One of our friends has been picking them up and taking them in the mornings when I have not been able to.

After they got off to school I began working on some music again and got a decent patter down to play with, vaguely along the lines of “All I Ever Wanted” by Santana…and I do mean vaguely. Anyway, it was fun to work on and listen to it take form over time.
– side note here to the one and only Bass Monkey; so you going to come visit me or what, or just heckle me from cyberspace…though I know that is likely more fun… :-o)

I had an appointment with the Nephrologist this morning and met CC there for the appointment. He discussed his thoughts and feelings on where we are now, having diagnosed the Hyperaldosteronism and finding it a correct diagnosis and treating is accordingly; we all feel good about that. He is still very skeptical regarding the diagnosis of HKPP AND Hyperaldosteronism, two very rare conditions that he feels is against the odds of my having both. I told him that we’ll have to see as time goes on. I’m scheduled for the second opinion which he believes will prove him correct and my Neurologist believes will confer with the diagnosis of HKPP. In spite of his skepticism, I really like the Nephrologist and believe he is sincerely trying to do right by me as his patient. Following that appointment, I went to Kaiser Roseville to my appointment with my primary doctor regarding my sore throat and requested refill of some meds. The refill was handled fine and my throat didn’t look like Strep, but he ran a culture anyway to verify one way or the other.
Both he and the Nephrologist are scratching their medical heads trying to figure out why I have these periods each and every day where I sweat like crazy and feel ice cold in my feet and hands, simultaneous with the sweating. Neither has a real clue, though the Nephrologist has some recollection of reading of a patient with Hyperaldosteronism and heavy sweats. I almost forgot that he had also mentioned that I am by far, the furthest from a “normal, every day patient” that he has seen. He says he’s grateful because my conditions have caused him to think much harder and do more research than his “average, boring” patients…his words. He claims that I am certainly not boring. Under the circumstances, I think I’d rather be boring…*sigh*

After the appointments, I went to Pastor Chris’s house to watch him climb a tree in the hopes of completing a Christmas tree lighting of his front yard tree. I envied him, not. It is worthy of noting that he was cable-tying them to the tree; a statement of permanence, I assure you. Anna wanted me to meet the cat that had adopted them and Noah wanted me to check out his new hand held game (Nintendo or Gameboy, I’m not certain which). Anyway, both were proud of their sharing and I was pleased that they did share those moments with me. It was cool to see Chris outside the campus trappings, so to speak. It always is. When I got home I had an email waiting from the webcam company that I had written regarding missing software and they sent me the link so I now have a functioning webcam…not much to do with a functioning webcam, but I have one, anyway.

I worked more on the tune from this morning and it has taken shape pretty well…though we’ll see if I still have interest in it tomorrow morning or not. Speaking of tomorrow morning, I have to head back to Kaiser Roseville AGAIN, this time for ANOTHER appointment and a lab draw (joy, joy, joy…). I have to have my eyes checked due to the diabetes and I am having more tests run in search of the elusive cause of the sweating and such. The strep test should show by tomorrow morning some time.

I had a heart to heart with my mother in law tonight regarding some concerns I’ve been having and thought I did not go into some of the topics I had considered, the ones I addressed seemed to be received fairly well. Not much more to say on that at this point. Time will tell.

It’s night time now and the throat is really acting up again and becoming quite annoying. Grrr. We shall see if unhindered sleep is in my immediate future. I expect this is a virus of some sort considering the congestion and headache. Blah. Rats.
*sigh*

So, on to tomorrow to see what it has.
peace

Sunday, December 3, 2006 - His Day

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Sunday night brings the close of Sunday day, one could say. Thought provoking, huh? Yeah. So…
This morning CC, the kids and I get ready to go to church and I checked the phone book for some churches and times and we ended up going to East Valley Church on Hazel; their 11:30 service. The worship was pretty inviting as far as I was concerned , but CC and Missy felt it was a little loud, though Joshy liked it like I did. It was mixed alright; no effects that I could discern and I missed hearing some pleasant appropriate verbing and treating. The band was pretty upbeat for all but one song and CC had suggested that more contemplative songs would have served her worship more effectively. We were taught many years ago, the year before we were married, by Karl Harkey, the Associate Pastor of Huntington Beach Vineyard and one of our marriage councilors that He believed worship should be designed musically in the Outer Courts to Holy of Holies methodology; the beginning worship songs are horizontally directed from person to person and celebrating the gathering then to the inner courts, still celebratory but more vertically directed from us to God, claiming His goodness and greatness. Move then to the tabernacle and a more subdued tempo and complexity and definitely vertical in praise of God and His work in our lives then into the Holy of Holies where the songs are of loving Him and adoring Him and praising him intimately. This intentional approach was to bring the listener/worshiper colder to God through the use of intentionally placed songs within the service, preparing the heart of the worshiper to receive the message divinely given to the pastor who was speaking/teaching in that service. We brought that approach to King’s Way Church in San Mateo when I began playing on the worship team there, though they already embraced a similar structure. Most other churches we attended did not use that approach and we often felt that the services were neat and thought provoking, but they did not usually take us to a place where our hearts were made ready for the message. I believe a service can be beautiful, filled with inspirational music and thought-provoking imagery and still not bring me to the feet of my God to hear what He says.
I’m not sure where we’ll go next Sunday, but I have some church ideas we may consider. Anyway, we went to church and then went straight to the Sacramento Library where they were having a special Sunday event again. A couple weeks back we went and saw that A Capella group from Oakland…I’m pretty sure I wrote about them. The performer today was a gal who sings stories and has a guy counterpart who mans a puppet within a puppet theater; a team of puppet and songstress. She was alright but made me long from the depth and direction of Jana Alayra and her ministry. This gal offer the kids a good time for 45 minutes, but when they leave they leave with nothing but a memory of what just took place. No investments in eternity or the future, no introductions to the Author of creativity Himself. I guess I left feeling like it was time spent versus time well spent. My mood’s been funky for a couple days now; I expect that the reality is sinking in as to the next few months.
After the event at the library, we drove back up to Roseville Kaiser to check Missy out after her bout with Strep and that said she’s doing pretty good and that her ears show no sign of infection and for her to just keep up her meds. After the trip to Kaiser Medical we returned to the house where I was dropped off and then CC took the kids to FOP for the rehearsal to tonight’s Hanging of the Greens service in which they were taking part in a drama; Joshy was one of two shepherds and Missy was one of three angels and had a speaking part as well. Both kids are very comfortable now with dramas and being on stage. I stayed home and worked on music until it was time to go since we (Nana and I) were being picked up and brought to the church. I worked on another tune, different from the one I was working on yesterday. Today’s was much mellower and cleaner where yesterday’s was pretty straight ahead driving rock with an AC/DC bass line approach. Yesterday’s tune needs some direction and a real bass player. I played it in the car today and the bass line just drones its way through without any real articulation or identification, though I didn’t really mess with recording levels when I mixed it down, so I might be able to “fix it in the mix” as they often say…

Service tonight was cool and it was neat to watch Missy and Josh. The blessing was once again seeing my crew working the service. It brought sadness to me in not being with them, which was hard. But it was good to see them and get hugs and handshakes. I’m hoping to set up a date for a tech gathering at my house sometime in the next number of weeks, before Christmas. Crew, if you’re reading this, please know that when I’ve said that I truly appreciate you and believe that you are gifts of God, I meant EVERY word of it and it is even more so true to me now as I receive your warm and kind greetings when I have seen you. You have no idea the depths of me that they touch. You are in the best hands that God could provide (in Rob Fisher’s most capable hands) and I know he shares my appreciation and respect for you all.
I miss you guys…each of you. (the word “guys” is being used in the general and non-masculine noun, referring to both men and women, thank you very much.)

Yesterday and today have been somewhat pain-filled days at different points and I have no medicine to get me through those issues, so I will be contacting my primary regarding a refill of one of a couple possible meds that might work in conjunction with the methadone that didn’t work by themselves. I have to assume that since I am taking a daily amount of methadone now and I am experiencing pain over and above it, that the pain is “more than average” it is surfaces above the daily threshold, so to speak. Prayers on that front are certainly appreciated, though unknown.

Some prayer requests:
• Please continue to be praying for the insurance company to accept the disability claim and to skip any waiting red tape and go straight to the check writing stage. Sorry to be blunt like that.
• Please pray for healing and comfort for Brian Kunz who has just recently badly sprained his ankle.
• Please be praying the health of the crew members, one and all, if you know their names, if not, know that God knows who they are and will bless your efforts just the same.
• Please pray for us as we struggle with figuring out finances for the next 3 months.
• Please pray for Pastor Chris Alford who, in his own words, “feels like death on a stick.”, yet he lead worship tonight because if not him, then who?
• Please be praying for Art Yeaps’s health to become and remain strong and germ-free.
• Please be praying for my state of mind and my focus. If you can’t focus, you can’t know where to advance.
• Please pray for a young lady and young man who I know, that need Him but don’t know Him. God knows who they are and He knows them too.


Well, it’s 12:20 AM and I’ve begun the routine of staying up far too late when I have to get up at 6:00 AM to get the kids going for school each day.

More tomorrow -

peace

Saturday, December 2...brief

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Today has been a good day for the most part…I moved some gear around in the house and am paying the pain price for it, though it’s not a big deal at this point; more just a nuisance
I asked CC about considering moving our dinner location from the dining room to the main family room where we have the round table of her mom’s; that room has been for homework, mostly and light scale gatherings and such. I was asking her to consider my moving my music gear into the dining room and making that a “studio-esque” type of space for me to work on music, because if I’m going to work on it in any actual fashion, it cannot be in a “set it up for a few hours and then strike it” kind of scenario, which she agreed with, so, this afternoon I moved my gear into the dining room and set up the keyboards, modules, guitar gear, small mixer and laptop. After spending an hour or so playing around, I had come up with a riff/pattern that I liked from a previous started idea, and began laying down some guitar to it. Joshy finished his homework and came in to see what I was doing. No sooner had he seen me with my guitar on, he then took off quickly form the room and came back with his “electric guitar” (a gift from Pa, CC’s father who passed away 5 years ago) and he pulled up a small chair and sat next to me and began to strum away. It doesn’t get much cuter than that, and it was deeply affirming to continue investing in his musical exploration and interests. I set up the mixer so two headphones could be hooked up and he jammed away with my tracks as I was doing the same and recording overdubs.

We’ll have to see if something actually comes from the riff and 4 minute idea. I’ll have to figure out how I can feel comfortable recording vocals with anyone in the house. I normally do not like to have anyone but close “band” members in the studio when I lay vocal tracks down, but I’m in NO band at this point and the house is populated with at least one constant person, nearly 24x7 (Nana), so I’m not certain how that will work out.

Well, the back pain is kicking my butt, even with the methadone, so tomorrow will bring a new day and hopefully a rested back.

Sol, I’m not going to write much more…check in tomorrow…

peace

Friday Evening Brief

Friday, December 01, 2006

Afternoon-
Today has been the best day so far; No cane used yesterday and none today so far. Very cool.
I feel pretty good over all and was able to go with CC to Safeway for a fairly quick shopping trip this afternoon, something I couldn’t conceive doing since mid-October. It may seem like a mundane thing, but it is reasonably critical exercise for me to be able to do at this point. My self esteem wraps itself around ordinary things that take mild to medium effort and I need to be able to perform these tasks without significant penalty to feel as though I am progressing from the weakened state I’ve been in, so going shopping is a victory at this point.
I’m struggling with the shoulder pain which remains constant and occasionally is pretty tough to deal with.

Evening-
I can tell, after the fact, that the pain has influenced my disposition and mood. My mood has slowly declined as the day progressed and I now find myself in the place of feeling the need to apologize to CC for my mood, though I did not aim any frustrations in her direction, she still had to put up with or better said, endure my mood. Grrr.

Much of the work today was spent dealing with refinance possibilities and subsequent phone calls and checking into 0% credit cards to pick one to use. We made some partial headway, but will have to wait until tomorrow to connect with the finance folks for the refi and we can’t pursue the cards until we decide the refi situation.

Another dinner was brought tonight and it must be said that the ministry of helps in bringing dinners to folks in need of them is a true blessing and we hope to find ourselves in the place where we can be one of the families who is bringing dinners to others. It’s so cool. It’s all kindness.

I got to see some folks at work today when CC and I were there for insurance stuff. It was heartwarming to see all of them. Pastor Josh was there this time as was Nicko, so we got to see them for a couple minutes. Those couple minutes were cool for me.

Well, I’m not going to write much more…I’m tired of today, you know?

See you tomorrow-
peace