Tuesday

The claim was for long term disability not short term disability so we won't be seeing any financial help from the insurance before the time frame that I am scheduled to be back at work.

I am essentially, simply off work without pay until I can return, unless I have to be off past February at which point we would begin to receive benefits beginning in March.

I'm less than numb.

Monday's Beginnings

Monday, December 18, 2006

A quick pic this morning before they went off to school...Though it is early, it is a killer time of the day with them...

Sunday Night Collection

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Writing again- Today’s approach is likely to be scattered…apologies in advance.

Sorry to have been absent for a couple days; I’ve been very tired and the energy I had went to other things and it was clearly time to sleep before I got another burst of energy to write.

Today is Sunday and due to the later evening last night and just flat-out being tired, I slept in. My parents came up Friday night late and stayed until this afternoon. What a huge blessing. My dad too me up to Auburn to a church up there that he and I had done a sound system install for in late October, very early November and I needed to train the folks that they had gotten together. My issue was that I haven’t been able to drive for a while again due to the severe motion-nausea and thus I have not been able to get up there to take care of it. Dad specifically came up with the intention of helping me accomplish this task and we were successful and out to there within 2 hours on site. We left a bit before 8:00AM to head over to Kinko’s to make copies of the 9 page operating manual I wrote for them, only to find that Kinko’s was closed and didn’t open until 9:00 AM…weird. I was certain that Kinko’s was 24 hours. I was wrong. So we left a little after 8:00 and stopped at a Denny’s in Auburn and I scored some eggs and some hashbrowns and that did me very well for the morning. I battled the nausea all the way up there though and wasn’t sure if I’d even be able to eat alright, though I knew that I HAD to eat in order to take my morning pills. I was able to eat and Denny’s did themselves proud with very quick service and we were in and out of there within 20-25 minutes. After getting to the church we kicked into gear and got the teaching underway and concluded. Coming home was the same nausea-wise and the trip was not much fun, though I get through it by just closing my eyes and trying to focus elsewhere if I can. I will be ESCTATIC when this condition is done.

-We had a friend call CC tonight and one of her points of sharing was that our household appears to be under some massive spiritual attack right now. It’s helpful to get a does of reality every once in a while and have your winds restored, so to speak. When you’re busy getting your butt kicked, I’ve found it easy to miss the obvious. I’m appreciative for the quick reminder of wisdom.

A good buddy of mine, Erin, needed to borrow my truck last week so he could have a truck that had a tow package to move some trailers for the week, so I warmed the truck up for him on Monday before he arrived and when he got there, it died in my driveway. After fussing with it for a short bit we jumped it and he was on his way. Throughout the week he had it (last week), he called to let me know that he checked the fluids and took care of that stuff but that the truck still isn’t behaving properly and that the battery isn’t charging via the alternator. Long story short, he accomplished what he wanted to and brought it back with a couple alternators and regulators he had found in his garage in case one of them might work for the truck. So dad worked on the truck yesterday after Auburn and this morning as well and the alternator tested positive/working at Kragen’s but the battery still wasn’t charging. He took it over to my cousin’s place off Antelope and he measured it there at my cousin’s place and found it was putting out 30 volts output (it should put out 14 – 16 volts). Winchester Mystery Truck.
So, after replacing the regulator the truck seems to still be in the same condition so I’m charging the battery with an AC battery charger and hope to take it out tomorrow.
Any ideas anyone?
I’ve none.
We can’t afford a mechanic or shop so I need some “home remedies” if at all possible.

I worked in the Music room for an hour or so and got it cleaned up and looking pretty good. CC feels better I’m sure.

Also this afternoon, Joshy showed me a Styrofoam snowman he was making as a present for someone and was talking about it surfing (he was remembering he and me watching the surfing DVD my good buddy George from LA sent me to borrow) and I suggested that he and I make a surfboard for the snowman to be on and in no time, we were off. I went to the garage and found some scrap flooring we had used from in the dining room and then came back in and pulled up a JPEG of an image of a surfboard and sketched a surfboard in a similar size for the snowman and Joshy and went outside, set up the saw horses and began to get it done. About 30 minutes later we were done and Joshy was stoked. It felt very cool and very good to go out there and just do something; think it, draw it, cut it and then sand it down. He was very happy and had the snowman surf the whole house so the snowman could know what the house looked like while surfing. So very cool.

Last night was the Church staff Christmas party at the Cliff House. It was great to see the different folks I haven’t seen in a while, but Pastor Josh Flood wasn’t there and that left a hole in my evening. It would have been great to see him. I’m looking forward to seeing him when he returns. The evening consisted of a rear room at the Cliff House with a beautiful view of Lake Natomas, cheese and cracker appetizers, a very tasty salad and a main course of either chicken, fish or prime rib. It was very cool to see folks again and catch up, albeit briefly. CC and I sat next to Rob on my left and Craig and Beth Fetter on CC’s right.

I hadn’t gotten to see Mark from Facilities since I’ve been out and seeing him last night was very cool as well. He’s one of God’s true blessings to FOP. The pic is of Mr. Mark. :-o)

After the dinner, we took Rob home to his new home he just bought and we got the cool tour. It’s a beautiful home, nice size for him and really nice layout. He’s missing quite a bit of furniture but has it on order, though he’s got the sound system hooked up with the plasma! He rocks. CC and I are stoked for him. I enjoyed the evening as much as I did because I was able to hook up with him, primarily. The significant piece of this whole disability puzzle that frustrates me most is missing out on his life and the lives of my other friends there because when you simply aren’t there, life happens without you and folks move on. Not that that is wrong or anything of that sort, but it is frustrating, sincerely.

Back here on the home front, I’ve been listening to quite a bit of Tchaikovsky and some to Mozart as well. It helps when I am writing, emailing and such. Even the other night, to go to sleep, I brought the laptop into the bedroom and played most of the cuts from “The Nutcracker” and found it more then pleasant to go to sleep by. Even now, as I type away, more Tchaikovsky through the headphones. I had shared with CC that I would like to go to a symphony again to just take it in now, since I’m in such a different place than I’ve ever been. If we can figure it out, we would like to try to take Missy and Josh to a performance of the Nutcracker before it closes this winter. Either in Sacramento or in San Francisco.

It looks like we will stay up here for Christmas and not be heading to the Bay Area as we had thought we might. This Christmas will be the first Christmas that CC and I are both going to be home for in over 8 years. How cool is that. Another resulting blessing of an un-preferred condition.

I found an adapter that I need in order to run my mic though my guitar processor which will give me some heavy duty cool effects vocally. I’m hoping that will inspire my desire to try some vocal things soon. I haven’ written any more lyrics but will see if any are there tonight after I finish this.

Annie says "Good Night..."

Time to conclude and get on to the rest of tonight.
-peace

Thursday Re-Cap

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Boy. The hits keep coming. CC took Joshy in to Kaiser tonight because in a matter of a few minutes, he went from “I don’t feel so good” which is how he was all day to passed out on the couch and his temp kicked to over 103. Turns out that he doesn’t have Strep, but had Croup and now has joined me and Nana in the pneumonia category. If it wasn’t actually happening in my house, I’d be having a difficult time believing all of this happening to one family in one small frame of time. He’s a pretty sick boy and I spent a good 20 minutes calming Missy down who is scared by all the sickness and seeing Joshy’s face looking so helpless.

Please be praying for our collective health and for CC’s as well; that she STAYS well.

We went to Walnut Creek this morning for my appointment with the neurologist for the second opinion and he was not convinced that I am contending with HKPP, but doesn’t know what else it would be, either. End result, no immediate referral to UCSF as we had been hoping for, so the question is “What now?” It feels to me like I am nearly back at the beginning where we didn’t know what was going on, though with what I know now, I know that these attacks are related and are linked with potassium.

My buddy Scott Shuford called me to let me know that he had just heard on the radio that Genesis is re-uniting after 15 years and is planning a 2007 European large arena tour. Check it out here: http://www.genesis-music.com/

So it’s 8:48 and I’m in bed and calling it. CC’s sleeping next to Joshy on the hide-a-bed in the family room to keep an eye on him.

As if you’re not tired of hearing this, any prayers are coveted.

peace

Wednesday is pneumonia day

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

So now I know why I’ve been feeling so badly for the past few days;
Pneumonia.
On to new antibiotics.
There doesn’t seem to be much of a break in the barrage.

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM, CC and I meet with the neurologist in Walnut Creek for the second opinion. We leave by 5:00 AM with Joshy, who is also battling strep, and head down to the Walnut Creek Kaiser.

Please be praying for our travels to and from and for the appointment to be favorable in our progress for getting treatment and knowledge. Please also be praying for healing as we seem to keep busy going from one bacterium to another while sampling a virus here and there.

More tomorrow-

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Writing again from the music room, I'm pretty tired and didn't begin this prior to being tired, so...this one will likely be short, though I wrote an article on serving within a changing church and figured to include that as part of this blog entry. Given this medium, if you'd care to, I'd really like to know what your thoughts are on the article, so in this case, please do leave a comment regarding the article if you have the urge.
I may look at adding another blog address for the articles I've done as well, though those are often well over a thousand words, so the blog posting sizes will be pretty good size. I haven't decided what to do with that yet.

Anyway, we got more work done around and in the house today, though not much to "write home about" so to speak. Success was our in selling the three bar stools we have moved from home to home for a years now. We didn't make a lot of money on them, but we sold them on Craig's List and had action within 2 days of posting. CC's searching the house now for things for me to post and sell...I've kept her OUT of the music room.
Another neat thing from today was the conclusion of a Phil Collins MPEG download of his last concert in Paris. The quality is exceptional as is the audio on it. It's only 55 minutes long, but a great selection of songs beginning with "In The Air Tonight". His ace staple players, Daryl Streumer (guitar) and Chester Thompson (drums) and on bass was good friend Leland Sklarr joining him for the concert. Very good short show.
*****
Two HUGE praises have been a indescribable blessing to CC and I, and they are gifts from a church family and from the Deacons in the church. Thanks to them, we should be able to make our mortgage payment this month. I reads to impressivley trite, but all I have are these little letters on these little keys in front of me to use in an attempt to declare our appreciation.
*****
Not much more I can say and not much follows that up, so with that, here is the article titled "Transitional Stability"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Transitional Stability
-by wade odum

What happens when a guy like me, an audio engineer, is hired to work in a church directly underneath a Minister of Music and then, that Minister of Music moves on to another calling. What is my role now? Who do I answer to, from a creative point of view? What are my priorities to be when the new Minister or Pastor of Worship is hired?

Transitional Stability seems like a good working title…Let’s go with it for the time being, we don’t want anything too permanent, no? We’ll see…

My case and background is not as common as it could I, I suppose, having been an audio engineer since my very early teens, learning a love for it by my late teens and now in my forties having right about 30 years experience of running sound for “somebody else”. I bring a fair amount to the sound and media plate in regards to the scenario suggested above, so my intent here is to share some wisdom from the years and perspective from the tech to find some common grounding and fruitful soil.

If you’ve read some of my perspectives prior to now, you’ll likely know that I believe the role of a sound tech within a church structure is to provide audio excellence to the Lord. In like pursuit, we provide to the congregation by providing it first to the leadership, so that Sunday mornings (Saturday and Wednesday nights too) are the best offerings we can bring corporately before God and to Him as well. That is to say that the engineer provides the best service he or she can to the leaders within the service and they lead the congregation before the Lord in Worship and Praise and we then look to God to make Himself tangible and “real” in a sense, as the pastor brings The Word. The sound tech’s job, within that structure or frame, is to give the leadership an audible platform to be seen, heard and recorded in most cases. Now, having said that, I will take it further and suggest that the “style” of Worship has little bearing on the goals of a dedicated technician. It shouldn’t matter whether or not the Worship is organ-based, band-based, orchestra enhanced, drum-driven, a capella, acoustic, chant or just spoken word; whatever the platform pursued, it is our job as sound people to provide the leadership with the “sound vehicle” to get to the congregation.

In some very blessed churches, much technology has been given and I believe much is expected. In Luke 12, verses 40 through 48, Jesus is speaking to His disciples about being ready for the Son of Man’s imminent return, and though I’m certain he did not have this situation in mind, I do believe that we can pull some worthy tools from the passage:

Luke 12:40-50: 40You also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." 41Peter asked, "Lord, are you telling this parable to us, or to everyone?"
42The Lord answered, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? 43It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. 44I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. 45But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. 46The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. 47"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. 48But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

So, am I silly enough to be suggesting folks be beaten if they aren’t ready for downbeat…well…uh, let’s not ask that question, let’s address some of the relevant points, shall we?
First, I believe that God does expect much from those he has given much to and I believe that includes the church, its technologies and its personnel. I also believe, as in the parable, it doesn’t matter the nature of the master, it matters the disposition of the servant. I take from that observation that the master is equivalent with the church, and the servant is the equivalent of the leader in the church service, i.e. the director, worship leader, sound person, etc. We are to be ready each and every time called on to provide the service we’ve been pledged to, some would argue whether we are paid or not, and it does not matter as to the style of Worship we bring unto God, only that we bring our very best in talents and offerings. Granted, the biblical equivalence takes some wide “interpretation” but I hope the message is pretty clear; whether you are directing a choir, an organist or a pianist (or both), a 5 piece band with amps and acoustic drums or an acoustic guitarist, and whether or not you are miking each of the above or only one of the above, you are to do your job with all that you have in your own offering to the Lord. Would we behave differently if we knew that Jesus was going to be visiting our church that morning? We would all first want to say “No, not at all!” however, given a moment to reflect, I believe in all reality that, yes, we would behave differently (and likely the stress over what songs to choose and in what order they should be done would likely bring early graves to some of us). The point is, though, that we should not be bringing anything differently and we should be clear of conscience that we are offering our very best gifts each time we step up. The real world brings about a clash between “Spiritual Satisfaction” and the “Physical Church”. “Spiritual Satisfaction”, in this case, is a term interpreted to convey simply that we have indeed offered and done our best on Sunday morning. The “Physical Church” is essentially the embodiment of the waiting comparison to the church down the block (or nearby city) who has more numbers than we do and they had more this past Sunday which means they somehow brought something better to God than we did and we better figure out how to do what they did instead of being concerned with God and what He wants and if we brought it to Him. If we lose focus on our goals as servants and choosing not to be concerned with “The Church of the Joneses” and give our best in service then it truly shouldn’t matter which style of Worship is done as long as it is done to the very best of our skills, musically or technically.

Copyright © 2006

Monday's Remembrance

Monday, December 11, 2006

I forgot to include a few pics from our (Mommy, Joshy and me) outing yesterday to the Sacramento Library.

Here's a camera-phone shot of Mommy and Joshy just as the symphony began

Here's a shot of the symphony from the balcony(2nd floor) from behind a guy who was video taping the concert, so his camera is in the shot...

...and here's a shot of Joshy and me at the end of the 30 minute concert...

The concert was within 2 minutes of finishing and he passed out, done. Cute, but heavy.

The concert itself was quite nice and at the very beginning, the conductor asked the front row to move back a little so the kids could come and sit up on the floor in the very front, which I thought was magnificent. Also, at the end of the concert, with one more song to play, he asked the children if any of them ever wanted to be a conductor and those that raised their hands in affirmation were asked up, one at a time, onto the conductor's stand, and after he had the first child up there with the baton in her hand, he had her count to 4 with the baton and the musicians began to play. Each of the 3 children who raised their hands got a turn conducting the orchestra while the conductor stood over next to the wall and applauded them and the musicians as the audience clapped along to the final song. It was more than heart-warming to see the children given the opportunity to participate.

peace

Sunday Night Lights

Sunday, December 10, 2006





Here's what I worked on all afternoon and evening...nothing is impossible...I guess.









At least it's something to feel good about, you know?

-peace

Sunday Morning: 12.10.06

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Time to write again-

I didn’t write yesterday because I wasn’t sure what I could write; I was and am dealing with our reality and don’t want to reiterate anything or dwell, but my heart and mind have been there, so writing would have simply reflected my heart and mind.

I went to sleep a little earlier than I have in the past, this time before midnight, and tried reading one of the books on the life of the Apostle Paul that I was loaned, but the book was very thick in verbiage that is difficult for me. I tried scanning a bit but it was difficult for me still, so I bailed o that one and will see if the other book will be readable for me.

That being said, and to make that understandable, I have a form of dyslexia which is very problematic when it comes to reading (in particular) and writing (not so much now with personalized spell check). It takes me probably 4x as long for me to read a “college-word” paragraph as it would the average person, due to me having to re-read longer words and forcing the sentences to be logical. I’m VERY thankful that the writing software I use (Word) has the personalized spell check which knows to question words like “Form” and “From” which I nearly always reverse the “O” and the “R”, not mattering whether or not I was trying to write from or form, I almost always write the opposite. There are several words which are problems for me but Word generally catches them. I have to re-read sentences, some times 3 times in a row, to make certain I am reading them correctly. I have to do this same thing when I type these blogs which is why it takes me so long to type them. This was something that didn’t get identified until I was in college and I believe explains my pretty abysmal grades while in Jr. High and High School. It’s not just letters, but can be words and often numbers. In college I had an English/Writing Prof who identified my issue within a couple days of being in his class, prior to a test or much of anything. He asked me to stay after a class early on and explained what he thought I was dealing with and ever since then, with his coaching and instruction, I was confident to write and try math again. I began writing poems then went quickly to lyrics and have loved writing ever since.

We noticed that Missy was having a pretty tough time reading and writing in school and often she reverses letters when she’s spelling and she reverses numbers and words as well…hmm. I told her teacher at this last parent conference to look out for that in her work and if she see’s it to bring it to our attention and to Missy’s attention so we can deal with it. I’ve already shared my experience with Missy, so she knows of it and that it might be something she’s dealing with too.

I was successful in getting the Christmas decorations down a couple mornings ago and got some of the front yard décor put out, but was wiped shortly thereafter and crashed out on the couch for a few hours. THAT just irritates me to no end. CC was thrilled to have them down so she could begin to decorate which made me feel good and it was worth the fatigue to have her smile like that. Today’s goal is to get the lights up and the interior decorations up and out. That, of course, will also include some real cleaning as well.

Last night, Joshy and I played guitar together while I was watching some G3 on the DVD. He was quickly inspired to play when he saw the guitarists going full steam and was quite impressed with their skills, repeating over and over “Wow. Now THAT’S hard to do.” each time one of them would pull of an impossible riff or play as fast as a DeWalt drill with a pick in it (Speaking of, I think Eddie Van Halen was the only guitarist to actually have an endorsement from Makita for his use of the drill during their last tour. Crazy.). We had a great time sitting on the couch with him playing his plastic electric guitar and me on my white Ibanez. I noticed that the neck on his plastic guitar was bending pretty heavily from the tension of the 3 remaining strings on it, so I took the strings off to remove the threat of his getting hurt by a snapping string and he asked if he could play the white guitar, so I had him sit up straight on the couch and put that guitar on him then I went and got my purple Ibanez and we played along together with him trying different sounds and such with the whammy bar and my glass slide. I was able to learn the missing chorus progression for “Smoke on the Water” (Now one of Joshy’s favorite songs) as well as the bridge for La Grange. Both are very “easy” except when you don’t know what they are and are not playing against the song to figure it out. I’m happy to have them in my head now.

Anyway, he and I had a great time playing together and then we moved into the Music Room where he wanted to learn about my effects processor, (Boss GT-3) so I let him mess around with switching the patches and explained the banks and programs within the banks and he understood. His favorite to switch settings on was the Human Wah patch which can make the guitar sound like it is saying “Hey” if the pedal is moved a certain way and speed after a strum. He was very entertained by it, big smile and laughing most of that time.

It’s now Sunday morning and he’s wearing a set of my headphones plugged into the computer, playing the CD he got from his cousin Kirsten, and has my white guitar on his lap while he strums away and sings to the songs on the CD. So cool. Last night, he asked if I would record some guitar stuff for him to listen to on his MP3 player so he could write some words for it!!!! How cool is that? Don’t you KNOW that WILL get recorded if for no other reason than he simply wants to do it. I’m stoked by his interest, though I believe he will probably end up being a percussionist or drummer more likely due to his attention to rhythm and musical inflection. He generally strums or pats to the rhythm of the words and such. He’s VERY dramatic when it comes to listening/singing along with songs. He becomes the artist and his face shows the intent and determination and often the emotion of the song’s lyrical point, though he loves the hard rock and loves to do his best Billy Idol disposition or complete straight-face as he does Will Smith’s “Wild, Wild West.”. Dig it.

Well, this afternoon, turns out, we (Mommy, Joshy and I) are heading down to Downtown Sac for the Library’s afternoon event of a Youth Symphony/Orchestra beginning at 1:30. That should be pretty cool. CC was making the point that if we don’t take Joshy and Missy to these things, they’ll never know of them. Missy spent yesterday and last night with a friend and then is heading over to another friend’s house now to spend the afternoon, so she won’t be with us for the Library trip. I miss her when we do family things or outings, if she’s not with us. Seems like she truly misses us too.

Tonight is FOP’s big Christmas program. I’m very hopeful that it goes very well and that the tech crew has a blast doing the show. I’m not sure I’ll go or not.

Well, time to do some cleaning up before CC gets back and we have to leave for the library.
-peace

Saturday Beginnings

Saturday, December 9, 2006

I can safely say that this is the single most awkward and uncomfortable time in my life, that I can recall.
Maybe more later, don't know.