Sunday Early Morning

It's 2:02 AM and I got up a little bit ago to get some food and then see if I can go to sleep. I took another hit yesterday (Saturday) after working in the back yard with Cs (pronounced seece). I was able to do more yesterday than I have been able to do in a year, I think, but I expected some fall out so I wasn't entirely surprised by it. What did surprise me was it being a paralysis attack and mouth control and swallowing was hard and scary. I was somewhat able to see but my eyes wouldn't focus and look where I wanted them too. I was afraid my tongue was going to fall backward and cut off my breathing/choke me, but after Cs had become aware that I was under attack, she opened my mouth and re-positioned my head into a safer position, I think.
I hate those particular attacks, especially. They cause me to feel completely vulnerable and helpless to an exaggerated extent. We will see how tomorrow is.

Friday morning and night I was inspired to create some music and I spent a number of hours creating using loops and keys and a little guitar. I feel pretty good about my efforts and plan to listen back to the ideas, sometime tomorrow; now that I write alone, I need some distance between views of the work so that I can hope for some kind of objectivity before investing anymore time on the idea...many ideas currently exist left incomplete due to lack of collaboration, more than anything else, I think.

Time for sleep, it's almost 3:00 AM.
The rain comes in this morning, kinda makes sense to me...
peace