I'm impressed with myself that I'm writing this long before the wee hours of the following morning... I hope this font doesn't bother you; I'm liking it at the moment.
At exactly 1:30 p.m. this afternoon 15 years ago, Melissa Mae Odum was born in Redwood City, California. Her day today was celebrated one day early with having four of her close girlfriends surprise her for an overnight stay and celebration here at our house. I guess the only significant bummer from yesterday as it would pertain directly to Missy, was that she had to run 10 miles that morning so she was very tired come the afternoon and a bit more low-key and less hyper than she might have been otherwise. Unknown amounts of caffeine later in the day, found her still awake this morning around 5 AM, the final of the four of them to fall sleep. She then slept until 10-ish and was up and going before I was (I woke up at 11:48 AM!). The girls decided that they wanted to go and see “G-force” at a 1:50 PM showing, so we all loaded up, including my motorized chair, and we headed out for an afternoon at the movies. I have learned from the past that sometimes going to the movies can be problematic for me, whether it's because of the stress in the movie or because of the temperature and climate change; going from an air-conditioned building out into hundred-plus degree heat. Fortunately, today's movie was not very stressful (I mean, we're talking guinea pigs here) and on exiting the theater, there was literally no difference in temperature from indoor to outdoor, so I escaped my known two primary “going to the movies“ issues. I did learn, unfortunately, that there is a third issue for me to consider, but that would not just be from going to a movie per se, it would apply to any period of time where I would be seated for more than an hour at a time in the chair. The third issue? Do not begin to assertively stretch immediately following a long, seated period of time. Exhibit A.: Before getting into the van, following our exit from the movie theater, I chose to do some leg and abdomen stretches before getting into the van; I was in error. Very shortly after having started the stretching of my calves and my abdomen, what first began as flutters quickly turned into spasms across my waist and my chest; the process had begun. CC and Missy helped get the liquid potassium into me and Joshua stood beside me holding my hand and encouraging me to squeeze his hand as I needed to in order to release the pain of what was going on. It did not take long for my body to go into full paralysis which was very awkward for Missy's guests who have joined us to go to the movies and had to watch all of this unfold. As we began to drive and take the girls home, Missy became my support; holding my head and my shoulders against the seat so that I would not end up ricocheting around in the front seat, during turns and stops and starts. I became infuriated with myself that this had happened on her birthday, in front of her friends, and as a result, most of the car ride home she spent in tears, resting her head against mine and quietly reminding me and encouraging me to breathe deeply and not to panic. I could do nothing to reassure her or comfort her or stop her tears until my body settled down after the potassium had fully gotten into my system, which was after the final girl was dropped off. Needless to say, it made for a very quiet ride home.
*Sigh*
CC and Missy helped me get into the house and into my black chair where I stayed for the rest of the evening while the three of them went to a roadhouse steak restaurant here in town for her birth day dinner. It's just not how I wanted the day to go or end up but there's nothing I can do to get it back or to change it and moving on is the only option. Missy, like her father, mother and brother, cherishes family and family time and, once again, thanks to a debilitating disease, we are forced to adapt our intents and our desires to the realities of minute to minute -- day to day life as filtered by HKPP. Some elements of that look a lot like the beginnings of a pity party and, perhaps inside, maybe that party is actually going on but in an underground sense; something that I need to battle and excuse myself from on my own, but there is a truth to it as well and that is that perhaps I need to be more considerate of others and my family in terms of participating or becoming involved in functions that may radically change if I suffer an attack, and by radically change I mean that some, most or all involved are negatively affected by my attack.
Tomorrow is Monday, a new day and the day that I can and may rest and recover; all I have to do is choose to do it, and if I am at all honest with myself and most all of you, I'll have to confess that choosing to rest and recover just isn't as easy as it sounds or as I want to be sometimes.
As I remember whispering to Missy while we were driving home," I'll be okay; I will get better, you'll see..."
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