Down

This is an email I just sent to a list I belong to, that is populated by folks who contend with the same or similar forms of periodic paralysis.

Yesterday started out alright, even to the point that I felt good enough and strong enough to take Annie, our Doberman/Shepherd/Hound mix, for an extended walk/ride through our local small park. I can't walk long distances anymore without tiring quickly and triggering attacks, so I used my motorized chair; steering with my right and holding the leash in my left. My 9 year old son went with me on his bike and remarked that just the two of us doing something was special to him, since my disease often interrupts and prohibits concentrated time together. With that in mind, I did not want to have something happen to screw it up, which, for the most part, did not happen, i.e., I didn't have the attack until after having been home for 20 or 30 minutes.

While standing in the kitchen and touching bases with my wife (she had just returned from errands a minute or so before things went South with me), I began to feel *that feeling* when you know things aren't alright, but in the moment, you can't explain it. Sometimes, that feeling comes bundled with a degree of fear, which this one did. I told her I was not alright and that I was going to go sit in my black chair (a Lay-Z-Boy that was given to us and that my dad built an elevated base for, to make it easier to get into and out of under my own power or not. My dad is my hero and my champion.) and get my oxygen going (I'm on 2 .5 liters). It didn't take long before I could feel my body ignoring my intentions and commands to respond and CC brought me a dose of liquid K+ and an Ativan as well. I was able to swallow (I normally am able to swallow when not in spasms) and a short time later, I thought I was on the other side of it, like most times before. I was wrong. I remember there being a preventative sharper pain just under my left side of my ribcage, preventative in the sense that I could not breathe deeply at all without aggravating the pain, so my breathing got out of whack due to my feeling panic because I can't breathe right and was breathing more rapidly and more shallow. CC brought me another dose and another Ativan.

After considerable struggles with the pain, the muscle cramping in my chest, rib muscles, calves and feet, I was able to focus on slowing my breathing down and forcing myself to not continue to panic. CC stayed beside me throughout and I could hear her voice speaking to me and I could feel her familiar fingers moving the sweat away from my eyes and my forehead and she brought me back from where I had gone.

I don't remember the last time I had 2 attacks consecutively, back to back like that and it makes me wonder if it was actually just one attack that re-surged due to some kind of K+ flush or fragile imbalance. I'm sure open to ideas here.

CC says I'm not allowed to take the dog for walks for the foreseeable future...I guess I understand; what would have been the outcome, had this happened when I was in the park?

Today is impressively restricting from a pain standpoint and from feeling as though I've been taught a lesson by an enraged Mike Tyson...slow-go today.