Easter Sunday

We got up in time to make it to church this morning, though we did not get there prior to the service beginning; a weekly challenge of ours that we seem to fail nearly every time, *sigh*.  I took a few pics and posted them here (below) because I was struck but the dynamic lighting of the service, yet, if I am honest, I was clearly distracted by it as well, which is counter-productive in terms of a worship service or setting.  Indeed, at 11:15 we had a full orchestra and full choir as well as the Doug Reid Band leading in worship.  I felt that this morning was more-so directed at newcomers and the Holiday attendees rather than the established family.  It's certainly worth noting that it was a full house for that service.

After church we eventually made it out of the parking lot and back to the freeway and then we went to Chili's for our Easter Lunch...sounds kind of anti-climactic, but we did have lunch together and that was more-so what Easter lunch is about in my opinion.  On the one hand, it would be really neat to go someplace fancy and have an expensive high quality tasting lunch with as many family as we could gather, but then also on the other hand, it shouldn't matter where you got to eat as long as you are with your family.  So, we were a little over-dressed for Chili's, but we felt good to be out, eating lunch together.

Worthy of noting here in my blog is a realization that I came-to within the past couple weeks; when the disease picked up speed a few years ago, I fought hard to remain in control of my routine, my job, my responsibilities, my friendships and relationships and my life and self esteem.  I fought so hard that I lost perspective on each of those things because my focus during the fighting was always on my symptoms and attacks and hardly on living and making the best of me in the midst of the circumstances.  Now, in sharing this and realizing this, I am not beating myself up about it or condemning myself over it, but recognizing it so I can own it and keep going.  I realize as well that this may just be for me and not something others might understand and that's perfectly cool too because I know that I am both the author of this and the reader of it as well.  *[heavy duty sweats just came and went in a matter of a few minutes.  bleh.]  Specifically, I realized that the main reason I backed way off from trying to maintain my foothold within the Audio and Media Production fields was and is that I feared being wrong.  I feared that my memory would fail me in crucial moments and in important conversations and I would feel ashamed of my memory losses and current inability to concentrate and successfully focus.  I think much of it is ego-based and vanity while another part of that soul within me who wants to please and serve yet now feels that I may not have or remember the words to share that someone may need to hear in a moment of exchange.  {more head and neck drops while I'm trying to focus my thoughts and write this out.  Grrrr.]  I shared this with CC over lunch a little bit ago and she encouraged me to realize that I have more to give without having to drive around to do it and that got me thinking about this blog and my Facebook participation and how I need to keep myself involved for a variety of good and healthy reasons. [ok, it's getting harder and harder to keep typing and thinking now]  I need to stop and rest, I've run out of *fuel*.

Hi. this is Missy, Wade's daughter. He is in bed right now, resting after a unfortunate little crash with body stuff. Soo....... yeah. he will be up and moving tomorrow (I think). Ok. Bye!