Out for errands

Lunch at Red Robbin with Erik and Annie...2 cool.

The Thunderhead Chronicles - 11/11/11

11-11-11


It does appear that the events of the past few weeks have been meandering their way through the different communication lines, and though I was not trying to keep anybody in the dark, I get very uncomfortable (now) perceiving myself as whining or complaining though I realize that it's probably just my perception. Blah blah blah.


Yesterday situation was, that in the late morning my blood pressure begin to spike and refused to come back down. I spent six or seven hours in the ER with CC at my side and a blood pressure averaging 200 – 220/95 – 110, or thereabouts. To clarify, those were the numbers that it would spike into; three different doctors were alternating taking times coming in and trying to discern what would work to not only bring my blood pressure down the keep it down. We ended up having an excellent nurse (which is/was a gift from God) and the final Dr. that I had was excellent, and ended up discharging me with a prescription for a fast acting blood pressure med that we can use should the situation occur again. Unfortunately, I have similar issues on Wednesday but I didn't call 911 and the blood pressure eventually lowered itself into a range that we were less concerned about, but that is why we went ahead and called 911 yesterday and went in, because it was the second day in a row.


As I'm dictating this into the computer, my nephew Erik sits behind me and playing his five string bass and riffing away. Very cool.


The HKPP battles have been fairly rough as of late and then adding the blood pressure issues has really pushed things to the outer limits. Though there's been a ton more pain over the last 10 to 12 weeks, there has also been a definite increase in my songwriting and intensity therein so I guess I'm grateful for both, kind of…
I know that this is an overused phrase, and to be honest, I'm more often annoyed by it than not, but the phrase is “I do not know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future.”There was a point yesterday while I was lying on the gurney and staring up at the ceiling, when my perception of life became very simple and uncomplicated. There was a nurse on my right adding a medication into my IV, while my wife was on my left watching the process and holding my hand. Within 15 to 20 seconds of the IV medicine getting into my system, I went into a vicious reaction/hit. I was no longer just laying on the gurney but I was trying my very best to get out of my own skin so that I could escape the spasms and pain. While the nurse was shocked and freaking out at what was happening, CC gently stroked my head and my face, a calming assurance that she was right there with me and that I would be all right, not to worry. I don't know how long the hit lasted.  After she got some potassium into me, and I was able to see and speak again, I believe the first words she said to me were “well THAT just kicked your ass!” Yep, it sure did. Even in moments of my own horror, she knows how to make me smile (even if the smile isn't visible).  She then told the nurse that that was the last time I will be given that/those meds.  Had I been in restraints, I'd have pulled or torn muscles by the lashing my body gave me.


So the bottom line is now that I am back at home and today was a good day of recuperation and I'm looking forward to more of the same through the weekend and getting my strength back.


I doubt that any of you truly know how much your encouragement, prayers and thoughts mean to me and to my family, but all I can do from here at this point in time is tell you “thank you”. Simple but true.


Lastly, I have a bucket of prayer needs/requests for those who want to go there.  It’s all good either way.
 
Peace
w

This is a MUST read...

Sam's almost there...

Looking even better for tomorrow's day!!! :o)

The Rain of Rest and War…

It’s 10:00 AM, Friday, February 18  

While in our bedroom, if I close my eyes and really focus, I can hear the peaceful sounds of the rain in the trees outside and on the balcony, just outside.  The sounds of water have always been soothing to me, especially storms and thunder showers.  While I was growing up, there was a time when my parents co-owned a boat that was kept on the Delta; we went there for mini-vacations and a few of the summers from my childhood. 

My sister Mindy and I would sleep in the bow of the boat and every night I would go to sleep listening to the sounds of the water lapping or splashing against the hull.  Many of my memories have faded over the years for a variety of reasons, but I’m truly, truly blessed to still be able to remember some of my time on that boat and distinctly remember how much that time meant to me.  Forgive my minor digression of historical perspective, but it relates in the sounds of water and rain and the peace I feel listening to them.  The sounds of rain, a storm, a river, a stream, the ocean, even the wind upon a lake; if I can just focus on these sounds, I can sometimes experience a degree of rest I seldom find tangible.

 

My last communiqué was yesterday while sitting at PT ; CC and I had gone in on time and I waited for my “turn”.  My muscles have been a war zone for  a number of weeks now and I was hopeful that a sort of truce could be negotiated through the massaging and stretching of angered muscles, over the course of my appointment.  That was not to be.

As we were finishing working on my legs, my eyes closed and my face and tongue began to go numb.  These attacks bring with them a more significant degree of fear and panic, because these ones often affect my breathing and swallowing.  Mark called CC into the room and once I heard her voice, though I couldn’t see her, I believed I would be alright, eventually, one way or another, even though fear was taking hold. 

By this time, I had already had 5 potassium tabs (Effer-K+ [each tablet is 25Meq/almost a gram of potassium])before going into the room, an effort to stave off any would-be attacks while in my appointment.  This attack went between complete ragdoll/deadweight and muscle locking, and though my face and tongue were paralyzing, I was still able to swallow with much effort, so CC gave me more Effer-K tabs until the rigidity ceased and then they got me into a office chair and rolled me out to the van.  Every now and then, my eyelids would force open and my eyes seemed to sweep from up/down to left and right, but it was very hard to get them to open, let alone remain open, and even then, my eyes seemed to roll on their own; the only comparison coming to mind is that of a driver of a horse-driven coach that had lost the reins of the horses while in full gallop, and was desperately trying to take back control, being bounced and shifted, to-and-fro with each stride of each horse.  And, once he did finally regain the leads, he was too exhausted to continue in that moment and needed to stop the journey long enough to rest.  I guess that’s kind of long-winded, but it’s actually pretty accurate to my perception; I know the attack didn’t last forever, but it felt like it at the time.  Writing this out is helping me remember what happened; another memory.

Once again, upon arriving home, CC was able to basically carry me into the house and get me into my black chair where I stayed for the next few hours.  After basically stabilizing me, she left and picked up the kids and upon arriving home, she and Missy carried me upstairs and got me into bed, where I stayed for the remainder of the afternoon, evening and night.  I was able to walk short distances by late nighttime, but my legs were frustratingly weak and shortness of breath had returned.

I’ve been hopeful that the recent change in medicines would make a notable difference in my quality of life, and though I’m feeling less depressed as a result (which was one of the targets of the medicine change-up), the pain experiences have not diminished, so like a person with a type of insomnia, my body doesn’t get to completely rest or recycle/rejuvenate, so, in a sense, each day brings another percentile increment of exhaustion.  At least, that’s the view from here.  Even now, it’s hard to focus my thoughts and not just stare at the computer screens while my mind works to convey coherently.  With all of the words in the English language available to me, I shrug my shoulders at the realization that the quote “I feel like I’ve been run-over by a truck” is the most accurate quote for me to choose at the moment.  Not too eloquent, but accurate, I suppose.

 

I must remember and keep fresh to my mind, that I am not in the hospital and I am ambulatory, still, in the midst of this *#@%ing disease and I need to remember that there are MANY, many more who are suffering far more than I, right now as I write and you read.  Your prayers are coveted and your encouraging words uplift me as often as you share them.

Please pray for no hits today.

Peace. 

 

rough tym cant walk. realy

rough tym cant walk. realy weak. prayers.

Tough Update

  

  

I’m encouraged to note that the med modifications appear to be taking a more positive effect, even though we’re only a few days in.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts, more than you know.

Prayers for increasing strength, perception of a experiencing a better quality of life and continued pain relief and healing in these muscles, so worn.

God brings encouragement.

Until next,

peace.  

Tough

  

  

Well, physical life is pretty hard right now and isn’t letting up, so far.  This will be short and is basically a prayer request for healing and pain control/relief.  We went to see my doctor yesterday to re-evaluate the current pain control and I left hoping for a better quality of life but that is still out of reach, it seems.

it’s a pretty vicious cycle.

 

Spasms are very common-place at the moment (have been for a little over a month now) and I can feel them further inside than just on the skin or the outer layer of muscles.  These ones are more uncomfortable (so to speak) and tend to last longer than the more external ones.

I’m trying to keep myself in balance, but being that I can hear myself gasping at points from the pain, I know CC and the kids can/do too.

Things are just hard right now and expressing this was one of the original intentions of this blog/journal.