Well, once again I find myself in the position of having to recall several days worth of activities as opposed to simply recalling one day at a time, because I would have been making daily or nightly blog entries. Needless to say, it's more than annoying from two main standpoints; the first standpoint is that my memory has proven to be unreliable over the past 2 1/2 years or so, due to one of the side effects of one of the main pain medication’ that I take. The second reason that it is frustrating is because I want to use this blog as a daily event and record of living with HKPP, and I know that if I do not an accurate recording of my daily living and struggles with this disease then there is less for me to learn in the long run.
Speaking of memory issues, I missed my physical therapy appointment this morning because I did not recall receiving a phone call towards the end of last week, letting me know that there was a change in location for my appointment this morning. I'm pretty sure that most who read this know and remember that I am not allowed to drive anymore (and that we only have one vehicle which CC uses for all transportations and to get herself to and from work each day), and being that I'm not allowed to drive it anymore, I need to rely on others to take time out of their days to help me get to and from appointments or events that happened during the time frame that CC is unavailable to drive me to. As was the case last Tuesday, this morning my cousin Chris gave up a good portion of his morning to come and pick me up and take me to my physical therapy appointment and the end result was that I asked him to take me to the incorrect location because I did not remember the phone call from the clinic alerting me to the change in scheduled locations. Chris did seem very cool about the snafu and even offered to take me tomorrow morning to a make-up appointment from missing today’s.
I have not been sleeping well over the past several nights and I believe that is the reason why I have either been napping or experiencing crashes each day in the afternoon to early evening hours I'm forcing myself to get up in the mornings and make sure that Josh gets off to school, which is a no-brainer and a good thing to do, but the issue is that I'm not getting to sleep in a timely manner to allow my body time enough to rejuvenate and rest from the previous days activities and waking hours; we as a family, me specifically, need to be going to bed earlier on more of a regular basis to fix the issue at hand.
As I'm writing right now, I'm using my headset microphone to dictate this blog entry and more often than not, I close my eyes and somewhat lean forward, resting against the desk as I think of what it is that I want to say and communicate. This, in another itself, is not really a problem. However, when you're tired and you lean against something and have your eyes closed, the likelihood of falling asleep is greatly increased... at least in my case it is.
About a week ago, CC and Missy coerced me into watching the first several episodes of the TV series “Heroes”, the final episode of the fifth disc of the first season's episodes, I watched late yesterday morning. Each episode is an absolute cliffhanger and, in my opinion, is superbly directed and shot and includes an excellent cast of characters and actors. I'll come back to why this is relevant in a minute or two…
Yesterday came and went without an attack; a fact that I am blessed by. To that end, I believe it has been several days now since my last attack which I think was a week ago this past weekend. Sunday was a good day in a productive day, though we all slept in to some extent and once again did not make it to church. I am more than frustrated with myself over not making attending church a high enough priority, so much so, that would out rank sleeping in. Granted, there are obviously other factors that weigh in on going to church on a Sunday morning, but I know that I have not been much of a leader in terms of getting my family into church on a weekly basis. Typically, our weekends are spent doing household pick-up and chores along with different yard projects unless the heat outside is prohibiting, but this past weekend was primarily spent indoors with Saturday being a marathon video/movie day for me, Missy and CC, while Joshua either was on the Xbox or was playing on my computer. We watched several episodes of “Heroes”on Saturday and a few more on Sunday; I think I began watching the series on either Thursday night or Friday night, along with CC and Missy who both wanted to re-watch the beginning episodes and see if they would notice anything that they may have missed the first time they saw them. I'm looking forward to getting caught up with them in terms of where they are in the series, but I am not anxious to watch the series while it is on TV because the level of stress in each episode combined with the lack of resolution at the end of each episode could certainly prove to be a contributing trigger to an attack for me; I would rather watch the series on DVD where I have better control and easier access to finishing storylines and pausing at stressful points than if I were to just be watching the show on TV.
No, I have not read anything about the possibility of their actually being a black widow *season*, but if there is such a thing,, it is now. As father of this family, it is my duty and marital responsibility to extinguish or neutralize any and all spiders that are visible or indicated. Sunday night, before finally going up stairs and going to bed, I did a thorough walk of our back patio, yard, retaining wall and garden with a can of spider insecticide and managed to dispatch well over two dozen black widows; from the very small immature ones to the largest which was nearly the size of a dime, not including its leg span. Then yesterday, I went throughout the entire yard and completely removed all spider webs that I could reach and find in order to better learn whether or not I was successful in completely eradicating the arachnids or not. Not all spiders were black widows though over two dozen or; there were some spiders that showed the same type of body shape and size but did not have a red hourglass on their belly. Unfortunately for them, as far as I am concerned, there is “guilt by association”and they are no more.
On a completely different topic it is worth noting that even though I have pushed some of my dietary boundaries within the past week, they're still have been no attacks, fortunately. I find myself, like most folks I know, experiencing cravings for different types of tastes for foods so from that standpoint, it's probably a good thing but I don't have my license and cannot drive because cravings can be very difficult to deal with at least as far as I am concerned CC was noting that last night, after eating dinner that the likely reason that I was not feeling very well was because I had some boxed, prepared pasta which is more often than not, a straightforward no-no for people with HKPP; a fairly straightforward cause and effect, if you will.
It feels and seems like my creativity has run shallow again and that I have very little to contribute, creatively speaking . I have half-done musical projects and musical ideas that are just sitting, waiting to be addressed and/or finished. Bleh.
Both kids are doing well in school and enjoying their classes and their friends and, from all that I can tell, both are doing well being in separate schools which is a first for them. During the summer Missy joined her high school's cross country team and she has been practicing and learning through part of the summer what all of that entails. This past Friday was the school’s first cross country meet which took place in Lodi. Missy and her team were taken via bus to the load I meet where she competed for the first time. Her mom and I are so very proud of her, it's beyond words. It was a huge step for her (not to mention a slightly large step of stress for her father who worries about her traveling to and from field trips and other excursions)
Well, my brain feels like it is emptying out of the different things that I wanted to share. I do think its important to relate that, all things considered, which includes the past nearly 3 years, our management of this disease is currently giving me the highest degree of normalcy that I have had since my diagnosis. By no means am I anywhere near what I would have termed to be normal over three years ago, but it has been a very long time since I have been taken to an ER via family or ambulance and nearly all attacks are manageable without the need of medical assistance. I do have some other random thoughts as they pertain to daily life but I am more tired than I am inspired at this point. It is time to call it for now.
Peace
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