10 days later...AGAIN! Grrrrrrrrrr...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

It’s 7:34 in the morning and I got up 34 minutes ago. I awoke from a dream wherein I was struggling to contain a snake of black color and a snake of white color and get them into a case of some kind that kept changing shapes as well as the snakes changing body sizes so that they were escaping through the netting of one container then returning to the larger snake size they had been to begin with.
I’d rather be awake.

I’m sorry not to have kept this up to date any better than I have. Joshua and I have both been contending with some kind of virus with Josh getting the worst of it, no doubt. He had a fever of 104° for nearly 5 to 6 days and missed last week of school as well as the Friday before. The virus manifested in me with stomach cramps, daily weakness, lightheadedness; a kind of set of significant HKPP symptoms on a daily basis.
Friday evening we were out with the kids and CC suggested Fresh Choice for dinner. We were on our way there when symptoms began to ht but I felt that I could get through it so we could have a small dinner out.
I was wrong.
CC said that after getting inside that I began to lose it while standing in line to pay and she helped me get to the booth the kids chose. Somewhere after that my hands went numb and CC gave me some K+ undiluted, a memory I’ll not soon forget, but it did not immediately restore me so she said that she and Missy, each under one arm, carried me out to the car and then back home to the couch. That’s the first time at a restaurant and the first time of numbness in quite some time. It scared me. I guess they all do, scare me that is, in some fashion or form. So yesterday was pay the price day, as is today.

Cool note: Joshy and I have been writing a song together with him playing some guitar and some keyboards. He even wants to sing on it too! How COOL is that?? The only negative is that he doesn’t want to wait to do it, even if I am feeling poorly, he is quite anxious to keep going.
Also, I found a rough tape demo from my Forthright days (Christian Metal/Rock) and will figure out how to post it so you can hear what I did “back in the day”.

That’s all for now. More later…Sooner…sometime.

Back after a While: Two days in one entry...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Today’s been a hard day.
I’ve allowed the realities to become my primary focus and depression became quite tangible.
The privilege to drive has been such an escape for me that losing it struck deep and hard. Of everyone who reads this, I know more than all to look up and not get bogged down, but there are days…indeed, like this one, where it is almost a fresh shock to accept that I have a disease that laid relatively dormant for over 40 years and now has moved into a gear that affects me every single day. I was sharing with CC that I’m grateful that I was given a “free” pass, so to speak, for the past 40 years but now, I seem to pay a daily price for each day of my youth that I escaped the pain, the spasms and the fear. No more escaping. No more refuge. In a matter of weeks we will have to move out of our home because I can no longer bring in the money necessary to pay the mortgage. Rental agencies want proof of employment to show them that we will pay our rent in a timely manner and I cannot give them that proof.
We leave in a minute to go see a possible rental…back soon.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Challenges abound. After returning from looking at a 5 bedroom home with a pool and such, we came back home to drop me off so CC could go get the kids from school. My legs gave out as I got out of the car and CC was there to help keep me vertical and get into the house and onto the couch. Medicine and then rest/sleep for a while.
We had a wonderful visit with my bro Keith Nesja and his mom for dinner time. Keith is in town because of his dad’s heart surgery at Sutter Medical, as was his mom. We had dinner with them and reminded each other of stories and such. It was very cool.
Before they left they had the unfortunate opportunity to witness me losing my ability to stand while we were all in the kitchen talking and petting Annie. Once again, CC was right there and I didn’t hit the floor. I think Keith followed suit in supporting me and they brought me to the couch where our visit soon ended.

We’ve decided not to go to Florida.
We both feel it is too risky to fly that long in a plane, especially with nearly daily hits, like they have been.
We DO hope to make some kind of vacation out of the time CC has off from work. We’ll have to see about that.
Waiting for a call back from the doc offices regarding getting an appt. today. Pray for no office attacks.

Ugly Attack Yesterday (Thursday)

Ugly attack yesterday (Thursday) while we were in Redwood City during a dr. appt.
Ended up in ER until stable then CC brought me home.

We had gone to Redwood City to see another doctor about the DMV situation and to consult regarding my ongoing symptoms. Once we got into the doctor's office, I began to feel progressively worse than I did during the car ride down to the Bay Area. I'm not certain how long it took for the attack to fully manifest, but the rest of the time down there is very sketchy at best.

Friday was spent horizontal and today, Saturday, we had both kids' games at the same field in Orangevale so CC and I got to watch them both play, together.
I'm still very sore today and feeling very fatigued. My goal has been to type as much as I can on a couple projects before having to call it a day. I'm pretty much there now.
Continued prayers for healing and for us to find a new home somewhere in the area.
In the past 12 months, I've lost my job, my home and my privilege to drive, all because of this disease. It's been a tough year, to say the least.

One Week Later...Big Changes.

October 9, 2007

We’ve gotten the answer from the mortgage companies; no deal or cooperation, so our house is now in foreclosure and we need to find a rental somewhere in the Orangevale, Fair Oaks area, possibly Citrus Heights or Roseville, depending on the opportunities within the Orangevale and Fair Oaks areas.
We knew this would be a possibility months ago and we hoped and prayed for another solution, however, we have what we have and will do our best with the present circumstances. My afternoon will be calling on houses, as yesterday afternoon found CC and I driving from possible home to possible home for a few hours but finding no suitable opportunities. Worth noting is one home that we looked at which was renting for $1,750.00 month, 3 bedrooms, 2,300 square feet on ½ an acre.
“No pets”.
We were bummed when we learned of the “no pets” clause and that there were two families before us waiting, one having already placed a down payment. This place was amazing.
So, the positive from that was that there ARE homes out there with a good amount of square footage and that we need to keep our noses to the grindstone and search hard for the home that God has planned for us.
If ANY of you know of a 3 or 4 bedroom rental in the areas I noted above, please let me know ASAP and I’ll check it out.

We took another hit from our blind-side, so to speak…the DMV sent me a letter letting me know that my driving privileges have been suspended indefinitely until a have a doctor clear me completely. My current doctor worded his input in such a way that the DMV felt that I am a risk behind the wheel. This means that ALL transportation needs of the family fall completely on CC and tie my hands for getting kids to and from soccer practices Mon-Thurs nights and soccer games on Saturdays. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously pissed me off to lose my main source of independence and mobile musical escape.
In-freeking (insert profanity here)-credible.

Bright spot: My parents came up and stayed with us for the weekend. It was wonderful to see them for a while.

I went in this morning to get my labs drawn and was feeling somewhat poorly. 10 tubes later I was weak and wanting to go home.
I suffered a mild crash after the lab and slept the rest of the day after taking some meds to level my numbers out. Also, I forgot protein this morning so…there you go. Idiot.
My aunt apparently stayed with me for most of the afternoon while CC was gone.
I’m a blessed and fortunate guy.
On to tomorrow.
peace

Recovering

October 2, 2007

I have rebounded fairly well from Sunday afternoon's hit. I had felt somewhat poorly earlier that day and had been fairly active on Friday and Saturday. I had been kneeling on the ground for quite some time, cleaning up after a storage bin had fallen off one of our shelving units. The bin contained several of my 8mm, VHS, audio cassette and CDs and was located directly underneath a container of auto coolant that was leaking directly into my bin of collectibles.
I don't know how long I was down there, but it had been a while inspecting and cleaning off each and every salvageable cassette that I could. When I began to stand up I realized that I might be having a problem and began to lean on my cane for balance and support. I heard Joshy call for Mommy who was working a little distance away and then all of a sudden she was holding me up and then the next moment I was sitting in a chair. She and Missy carried me into the house and I spent the remainder of the day on the couch with soreness, spasms, lightheadedness and complete weakness.
Yesterday, Monday, I spent in bed all day due to weakness and very sore feet, ankles and such.
I am able to walk fairly well today with the cane but am still sore from front to back, hands to feet.

Bright spots:
- More cuddle time with Missy and Joshy
- We attended church on Sunday (Capital Christian)
- We got a fair amount of nitty gritty done in the garage before and after my issue.
- We had quite a fun mellow day on Saturday afternoon over at my brother and sister-in law's place (with their two young boys). One of CC's older sisters was there with her husband and their daughter as well as Nana (though she spent the whole time lying on the couch napping or acting like she was napping. It was good to be there and hang out.
- I got to speak to my bro Harry who lives in Long Beach; my brother who I miss very, very much. One of these days I will post some of his drawings on here to brag on how talented he is.
- I got a voice mail from my brother Carl. Carl and Madoli are two special and good friends who have been there for me/us over the past year of our suffering and I value them both. I still value my whole Media Tech team, though I don't get to see them or hear from them very much. When I do see them, it's always a blessing to me and warms my heart.

Concerns are:
- That I did not see Sunday's attack coming and that I could have easily fallen on my face if CC had been there a second later. I'm a blessed husband with a seriously strong wife. I weigh 225
- That my main caring doctor is on a long vacation from October 1 through November 20 and I will have need of medicine refills in between which has me nervous.
- That an irreversible process has begun with regard to our home and mortgages and that we are uncertain that we have definitively heard God's direction for where we are and where we are to go. It was our prayer to work out staying here somehow, coordinating with the mortgage companies, but we don't know yet what their answer is. Continued prayers are begged for on this topic, please.

That's it for now.

Peace.

Down today from.attack yesterday in

Down today from.attack yesterday in garage.
Hard to stand/ walk by myself.
Couch then bed. CC, Missy & Joshy cared 4 me.