Thursday, November 27, 2008

Annie's Dreams...

Looking out the window, wondering if her dreams will come true...

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Annie snoozing

My furry couch potato...

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My Guitars in 2008

This is a shot of the North wall of my home office. My dad made 8 guitar wall hangers to spec and now I have a better opportunity to be inspired to play by simply seeing the instrument out and available. Also on the wall, to the left, is a concert shirt given to me by very good friends after I was unable to go to the show with them as well as one of my gigging denim vests with custom air brushing on it.
All are good memories which make me smile when I think of them.

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"I do have my fears,

"I do have my fears, but they do not have me." - Peter Gabriel

There's a lot within those few words

The surgery went well and

The surgery went well and I am back home. It lasted a little over 4 hours and had no complications.
Time now to recover.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monday Night Different

Today is Monday, November 24, 2008.

Today turned out to be a very different full day. Missy and Joshua watched movies last night and went to sleep downstairs in the living room, while CC and I went to sleep upstairs in our bedroom. So the kids were up for awhile time and definitely later than CC and I were up. CC had to work this morning, so she got up at her usual time and was able to get off to work in plenty of time without waking the kids up, so that when I woke up, which was around seven o'clock, I walked out to the stairwell and noticed that the kids were still asleep. So, I worked a little bit on computer and then went downstairs to make a breakfast for myself. The morning of itself really has little to offer in the way of interest, with the exception that late morning around 10:45 to 10:50, while Missy and Joshua were upstairs in my bedroom watching a video, I was in my office and was typing and thinking, so the house was very quiet and I could hear everything around the house. Annie had been out of her crate and had already been outside and back inside by this time, so she was seated by the front window, at the front corner of the house, staring out the front window looking at the street, like she normally does, and resting there. It's at probably 10:55 or so, that I heard are sliding door open and in that instant, I thought that it was strange that CC would be home early and be coming in through the back door... and then I heard Annie bark in a very ferocious and vicious bark that I have only heard her use a couple of occasions. She barked and ran into the kitchen area sliding on the hardwood floor and then I heard her claws trying desperately to gain traction on the hardwood floor in order to chase the intruder back out of the house. I went from my office into Joshua's room and looked out his window quickly to see if I could see anything; I couldn't and then I went into our bedroom and out onto the balcony and I looked out onto the street to see if I could see anyone on the street, but I could not see anybody. So then I made my way downstairs and went outside for Annie was continually barking at our halfway fence, which separates the very front fenced boat section of the yard on the side of the house from the backyard. Both sets of Annie's hackles were up, and when she caught eye of me, she spun around, very much ready for business until she recognized that it was me. And instead of coming up and being all apologetic and submissive to me, she remained on guard, and she immediately ran to the other parts of the yard, smelling and sniffing. When she came back to where I was, I had opened the gate to allow me to walk beside the boat towards our cyclone gate and she followed with her nose on somebody's trail, that had hopped over the fence and then had gone out through the cyclone fence.

It felt almost surreal to accept and realize that someone had just come into our backyard and had opened our sliding glass door to come into our house, not seeming to care whether or not we were home. He DID seem to care quite a lot that there was a Doberman hound that wanted to meet him. I'm thankful nothing happened to her. I'm not so thankful that nothing happened to him, and do believe it would have been very appropriate for him to of had a rather painful going away gift courtesy of Annie. However, that was not the case. This brings to light, a number of different home habits that have to be changed in terms of being a better steward of the property, taking better care of ourselves and securing our possessions and our doors and windows even when we are home. And interestingly, when I heard the sliding glass door, my very first thought was of CC being home early and how that couldn't be correct. My very next thought and impulse was that I needed to grab my rifle and load it; I don't think I'll ever forget that feeling, or that impulse. My two young ones were up in my bedroom expecting and believing that they're perfectly safe in daddy's home. And some man of evil put their faith to question. May he and I never meet.

After all of this had taken place, I called the sheriff's department and asked for their direction; I wasn't sure that I should have called 911 at that point in time. So, not wanting to take a chance, I called their business line, and they sent out an officer (actually two officers) and it was the officers who suggested that in the future that I call 911 with anything remotely similar to something like this happening; message received.

So following that whole significant section of fun, my adrenaline had been pumping rather quickly and hard and within 40 minutes or so of that happening, the attack began slowly at first and then went into full scale. What makes the most sense to us is that the attack was triggered by the stress and the anxiousness of what was just taking place and had taken place. After the attack, I was down for a few hours and then after CC had come home, she let me know that we needed to head down to South Sacramento for a pre-op appointment, so, very slowly, I made my way down stairs and into the van for us to leave for the appointment. I forgot to mention that around 12:30 or so, my niece Kirsten came up to visit us and see the kids for the night, so it worked out perfectly for CC and I to go to this appointment and Kiersten was able to stay with the kiddos.
The long story short, from the pre-op appointment is that there was no pre-op appointment tonight. We drove most of the way there, only to be caught in traffic and recognize that we could not make it in time. And so CC was fielding phone calls on both cell phones from both, the dentist as well as Kaiser, talking about how this whole process was going to work out. Bottom line now is that I will go in early tomorrow morning to South Sac do the pre-op appointment, get all the information handled and then go into pre-op itself and get prepared for the surgery and then do the surgery tomorrow itself as well. My parents have driven up and are staying at my aunt and uncle's house and they will be here to help me and to help CC while we come to grips with getting through the oral surgery. Needless to say, there is a lot going on.

As a matter of fact, I'm recalling that yesterday was a good yet, busy day, in that we did not go to church, because CC had to work yesterday morning, but Joshua and I had some time together, while CC, after she got home from work, spent some one-on-one time with Missy watching a video together with her, joshy and I went and took Annie for a very long walk. It was not our usual walk, this time. We walked over in to the green belt area on the other side of our house and we took the pathway out to an adjoining street. A disconnected block over from where we live, and then we followed that street as it twisted and turned its way back around to Fair Oaks Blvd. and then we rode down Fair Oaks Blvd. back towards the park where we had originally started from. CC and Missy were waiting for us at the green belt, and they have brought tennis rackets, and tennis balls with them. So we crossed Fair Oaks Blvd., and we went over to the small tennis courts located at the front end of the park. We brought Annie in with us and we secured the gate so that Annie could run all around the tennis courts and be free from restraint, while the four of us could bat the ball's back and forth to each other. And I managed to do that whole time without sitting in my chair and without suffering any attacks. At that point in time, I knew it was going to be eventually painful, but I thought it would be worth it and I was right. When we got done playing around, we all went back to the house, and it was then, while CC and I were talking in the kitchen, that my head became very light and my balance simply went away. CC caught me before I fell and Missy came in and helped her hold me and then they got me into a chair and got the potassium into me and the other medicines into me. And once things mellow out I slept for a while. It was after that, that CC and I went upstairs, while the kids stayed downstairs. Going to sleep that night was not a problem.
Two attacks in two days; not what I'd want, but then again, no one's asking me either.

I'm running out of words, and I'm running out of the ability to think of them. It is time for my medicine and to go lay down.

It's pie time...

After a long and heavy day, it MUST be time for pie!

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Today was alright. Accomplished a

Today was alright. Accomplished a couple large tasks but am wiped out now.
Till tomorrow-

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tough attack yesterday. I'm down

Tough attack yesterday. I'm down for today. Least I had 8 days break which is a blessing in and of itself.
1dayatatime

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday Night Brief...again

Sunday, November 15, 2008

Yesterday was the final soccer game(s) for both Missy and Joshua. My aunt and uncle went to Missy's game with me and CC took Joshy to his game and then came to the end of Missy's game. Both the kids' teams lost their games but not due to lack of effort, whatsoever and that was very encouraging. They both played very hard and competed well showing very good effort.

Health-wise, I began to feel *poorly* as lunch came to a close and was able to get to the car on my own (holding Missy's hand) and was able to get into the house and upstairs with CC's help. I fell right to sleep and was out for a little over 3 hours but did not feel impressively better after sleeping and then wasn't able to go to sleep until after 1:30 AM. Grrrr.

Woke up this morning several times, uncomfortable and in some pain as I tried to sleep. And when I did actually get up, around 8:15 AM, my sheets smelled like locker-room sweat and I knew I would have to change the sheets AGAIN, sometime today. It is absolutely maddening to have to contend with this disease, even in its less-than-severe moments. I change clothes twice a day, on average, due to potassium crashes (drops) and our bedding is changed far more often than we would prefer, which of course means that much more laundry for every day to be done.
Yeah, I know I'm whining, but it's my blog; I can whine if I want to...I just won't feel good about it later, but oh well.
*sigh*

Missy wasn't feeling so well and stayed home from church, as did Joshua who needed to put the time into his homework, so it was CC and I who went to church, but we left my chair home and I caned it for the morning. Service was...different this morning; it felt disjointed and plagued with distractions. I was able to take notes and hear some things, but I took a hit from a potassium loss and was submerged in sweat for a good 15 or so minutes while my mind felt dizzy and my skin felt like it was burning all over my chest, arms, head, neck, hands and stomach. Normally those episodes (which happen daily) last only a few minutes and I can be back up and around within 15 minutes or, but this one knocked me down and left me in discomfort and wondering if another *shoe* was going to drop. As it was, no other shoe dropped today, however I have had one more episode of the same severity of sweating and even, just now, I dealt with a *normal* hit and only had to slow down on my typing for a couple minutes while my system came back to*normal*?
I did not feel connected today, not to church, not to my ladies, but I did feel more so connected to Joshua and also to God, though even that came from my own reading this morning in the book of Genesis, not from being in church. Mostly, today was a lonely day. Bummer.

Missy had her soccer party tonight at Godfather's Pizza (where I ordered......a salad.) and she received some kind words from her coach and a trophy commemorating her achievements in this season as a part of The Orangevale Eagles. Indeed, I was proud of her. I tried to post a video of her receiving her trophy but I couldn't get my phone to send it because the file was too big. Rats.

I have not mastered my eating cravings and my body does not hide that fact. If I don't get to bed and go to sleep before 10 PM, I end up needing to get up and go eat something in order to get to sleep and unfortunately, that normally coincides with my taking my meds, which bring about a definitive side effect of craving sweets (the methadone) and then it is very difficult to make good choices. It is up to me to make them but it is so very hard to say "no" to what I crave.
We shall see what tomorrow holds for me and for us and I am hopeful for some much needed rest while I sleep tonight.
May tomorrow be better than today.
yeah. Peace.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Saturday Morning Early & Brief

Saturday, November 15, 2008 (12:42 AM)

Life has remained pretty uneventful from the health angle, since last week on Saturday when I took a hit while at Joshua's soccer game. Prayer and hope for *today's* game is no events at all.

I got to have a little down time with my hunny for a short time today; that is always such a boost and blessing for me. Continually living with and dealing with all that we do does not tend to bring convenience into time together, especially down-time.

I feel like my brain is like mush right now and am not remembering what I wanted to archive, share or otherwise vent on...some would say that that is not a bad thing...*sigh*

Oh yeah, I have a new phone now which will allow me to post videos of longer than 15 seconds (30 seconds or unlimited) as well as a better camera, so, hopefully I will get to posting more photos either on here or on Facebook as well as posting some immediates via cell during the day. I've been a poor steward of this blog as of late and I need to do better on all sides.

As a reminder to myself, I need to:
* detail current issues with my left hand/left index finger
* talk about my current eating regime and goals and such
* share where and what I am reading in scripture at this point and what I have been learning and understanding.
That ought to do it.

Until next...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Strong Dog

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Turns out, Annie is a tad bit stronger than I had given her credit for...yesterday evening, after returning back to our house from making one lap around the circle, our neighbor's dog, Shadow, was in their front yard, off leash and while Annie WAS on leash, she was wearing her shoulder harness, not the Gentle Leader which controls her head. The other dog postured and then made a false run towards her and then Annie charged back, only she was directly to my left and she manages to pull me over in the middle of the street. Once I went down Shadow came at her and they "quarreled" a little bit (no blood); I was still buckled into my chair and not going anywhere so I pulled in her leash and brought her up to me while the neighbor grabbed his dog and took her back into their yard. Missy was riding with me and Annie and was there to help me get unbuckled and stand, as well as my neighbor. The chair now has a few scratches on it but that's all. I hurt pretty good last night and wasn't sure if walking was going to be feasible today, however, after some extended sleep (I awoke at 3:30 and then again at 5:30, got up and had some cereal and then went back to bed), I was in decent shape, a little sore, but over all, decent shape. I'll not underestimate her again. That was a lot of weight for her to actually pull over; I was duly impressed.

Outside of that, things have been alright. We went and got replacement cell phones for CC and me and now are giving my old cell to Missy (she is THRILLED). Ryan at Wireless Toyz in Orangevale, did a great job of meeting our needs and configuring the costs and plans so that we ended up with the phones we wanted near the prices we were asking for. He's good goods, plus he remembered me from having been in there 2 years ago. He was interested in a customer, not a sale. Huge difference.

Well, that's it for now. Short and boring, I know, but that's better than long and medical, right?

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Sunday Night

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Another hit yesterday early afternoon at Joshy's 1:00 game in Folsom. We got to the car and got meds going before it manifested hard, so I was without paralysis and consolidated spasms, but I hurt pretty bad after resting it off and then this morning and today have been painfully challenging. It's just something I have to get through; nothing different from smaller/medium attacks of the past. I have to play ball with whatever is pitched and play as hard and best as I can. Some days I make it to the base and others I get hit with the pitch...gotta stand at the plate, though. Have to be ready to swing.

I'll have to write more later. That's the quick of it for now.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Wednesday Night From Here...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


So, as it turns out, I did have a smaller hit yesterday evening while I was outside in the backyard cleaning our fountain (as best I could). I got myself to the house wall and leaned, locking my knees so I wouldn't fall then CC came and helped me inside. Smaller inconsistent spasms followed. Getting up this morning removed ANY doubt that I took a hit last night; I could hardly walk with the cane due to my legs and my ribs/ab and chest held me in contempt. I added one more to my pain pill allotment (per CC) and was able to manage the morning without having to stay down the whole time. Oh yes, I want to add that I believe that the key reason for having less attacks now is because of the climate change and the vastly cooler weather as opposed to the inescapable heat. As long as I don't get chilled or significantly cold, I expect that I will manage with minimal hits for a while. Wouldn't that be an answer to prayer?!! I'm good for that.

I wish I could be *normal* again. But it is unquestionably worthy of noting that through this disease, I have become even closer to my children, wife and family. I do believe I am blessed in spite of...*it*.

My thoughts on the political landmark? I believe that God is in control, ultimately, and that there were more voting folks who wanted Obama than wanted McCain. To me, it should be just simple math. I just began to write my more personal thoughts about it, and this, of all written venues, should be my place to write what I think and write what I want to, but I'm not willing to endanger my friendships over passionate politics. I voted; I "spoke my mind" via the ballot box and I think that should be that. I was really quite shocked to see the degree of hate and anger and venom displayed in Facebook over this election, certainly including the California elections, not just the presidential election; "Christians" calling other "Christians" misguided, diluted and even accusing them of following *another* Jesus. Scripture being quoted as a weapon against others, even generically and generally, spreading their angst and hurt around so that nobody walks away without feeling pushed. I'm grieved. A couple nights ago, I was even told (via internet) that I DO NOT have a right to my own opinion without chastisement and correction for my ignorance of my beliefs...and this too came from someone identifying themselves with Christianity. She ended her verbal sortie with "Matthew 25!". I was not surprised to read Matthew 25 and realize that she must have been referring to some friend of hers named Matthew who must have just turned 25, because NOTHING she was slashing with came even near relating to ANY scripture (although I did feel there was some relating her diatribe to "...wailing and gnashing of teeth."). Sad.

I wrote the following in an exchange with a very dear friend who sees things differently than me and was commenting on my salutation that I am hopeful that our new president will follow God. He shared ""W" claimed that's what HE was doing and look where THAT got us... Sorry! Love ya.". He also stated and I am paraphrasing) that Clinton was a far better leader and president that either of the Bush presidents. Here are, and were, my thoughts on those views:

"Following God carries no assurance of (no) missteps or a even, easy road. I think following God actually requires one to make decisions and choices that may contradict "political correctness" and even the people's desires, thus, in the shorter term, making one a popular outcast, but is there a price to big to be guilty of following God?
It is painfully tempting to draw attention to Clinton's clear and obvious sins and to re-illuminate his lies and double standards, as it would be to do the same with ANY president from a differing political party line, but sin is a given in people, whether they occupy the throne in a political office or the thrown in their bathroom; they will sin and fall short in front of all of us. My earnest hope is that, when they fall short, they do so DOING THEIR VERY BEST in following the leadership of the God that they profess leads them, if that makes sense.
I also hope you are willing to point that same finger at Obama when he screws up, gets caught lying & falls short of his political promises. Every president falls short, it is a given in the office of president. I believe that promises, postures and "appearance" are some of the main reasons that Obama was elected, two of the three I agree with, but he will now learn "on the job" what it takes to be a president and I can only hope that his skin, regardless of its pigment, is prepared and tough enough to endure the cuts of international opposition and the scrapes and bruises of national "no-win" choices he will have to make and we will have to live with.
Do you suppose that people will be able to mock him and mock his errors and mistakes, as has been done to Bush, Clinton (occasionally) and Reagan (in general) without being called racists or bigots or haters? Unfortunately, I doubt it at this point. I don't agree with or appreciate the mocking, regardless of WHO is in office, but I know it will be done, to one extent or another, only now it may likely be received as a racial "thing" instead of a political one. I guess it will depend on the person.
I'm excited to have a president whose skin isn't white, just as I would have been excited to have a woman vice president (thus creating the possibility of having a woman president). I'm NOT the least bit concerned for their skin color or their gender; I'm concerned for their role as president and what impact they will have on America. More than anything else, I am concerned for their espoused relationship with their living God, who they profess relationship with.
At least "W" did his noted best to follow God; it remains to be seen if Barack (Barry) Obama will do the same.
I expect that we will end up agreeing to disagree on Clinton's success as president. As to his personal life, I think, and am of the opinion, that once he became the president, he chose to live his life in the public's eye with all aspects of it available for public opinion and approval/disapproval, to a great extent. The issue of his adultery while in office was far more concerning because he lied about it and it was his lack of honesty, not his act of adultery that caused so much alarm in me. If he is willing to lie and conceal such an act as that, what else has he lied about and what else has he concealed?
I realize that you may likely not see Clinton as the failure and embarrassment to the office of president as I do, and that's totally cool because Clinton has, and had, nothing to do with my love for you as my friend of so many years. I could give a rat's ass about politics when it comes to caring for and about my friend. My response to political banter is just my response.
:-o)

I guess that sums me up pretty well regarding the presidential politics, at this point

I was hoping that today would be less anxious than the preceding number of weeks, but even today, more posturing and finger pointing regarding an proposition that was passed by the majority of California voters and now seen as the fault of "ill informed, unauthentic/untrue Christians and making the *real* Christians look bad, besmirching Jesus' name. I don't know about everyone else, but I voted my heart and my spirit, according to my knowledge of the scriptures. With great regret but historical proof, the Word of God, the Bible, is not "politically correct" and brings controversy to EVERY community and people who live irregardless to God's own teachings. God is love and we are to love EVERYONE regardless of their sin or their politics (some may even see those as one and the same...) but God does call His people to live in the world but not embrace its gods, customs or traditions if they contradict His Word.

I love my family and my friends IRREGARDLESS of their politics.
I read the end of the book...I know how all of this ends, eventually, and I know with all my heart, where I believe I will be; that should be good enough for me.

In This Body: Living with HKPP through Faith and Love of family & community with Wade Odum This was recorded on March 19, 2024 On today...