Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Yesterday was another day from hell.

I woke up feeling somewhat sweaty and had only dozed a couple of times during the night, otherwise I was awake most the whole night, like I was the previous couple of nights. Since CC went to work, I got up at 6:30 and went in to wake up Joshy for school and saw that my mom had already started him going so I shared with him that I hadn’t slept most the night and that I wanted to go back to sleep. I gave him a kiss for the day and a hug and I went back into bed until around 8:30. CC took Missy to the Urgent Care clinic on Sunday during lunch time to have her checked for pneumonia (which came back positive) and we had fortunately caught it in its earliest stage so CC got her some antibiotic and we planned to keep her down for yesterday and not go to school.
About 8:30 or 8:40, I walked out without my cane and went into the living room where my dad was packing up their stuff to head back down yesterday morning. I don’t remember what he asked me, but I realized that I couldn’t answer him and knew that I was in trouble again. Shortly thereafter I was on the couch, then in pain, then shaking like I’m electrocuted and bound up. Both my parent’ were working with me then CC was called home from work and she made an appointment with my primary doc and she took me in with my mom, to the appointment and to have my labs drawn.

I didn’t have to go to ER, praise God, but I did stay for some time in the main clinic observation room, or something like that. They gave me shots of valium, phenergan (sp) and Dilaudid in both hips which seriously hurt like hell but eventually allowed me to rest from the spasms which stopped after CC gave me some liquid K+ first. These last two attacks have had no paralysis with them, but have been muscle tremors, spasms and tightening and such. We are back to ground zero having no clue what we are dealing with. It’s like something short-circuits in my brain or muscular system and then “it’s on” and the pain begins with either a paralytic episode to a muscle spasm attack. Almost like a seizure, I think, except I’m awake and can hear for the most part, but can’ remember straight or chronologically at points.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck and then backed back over by it. I can walk slowly by myself with the use of the cane and have come out from the bedroom to keep from becoming depressed or more depressed, anyway.

My parents left today, a day later than they had planned, to head back to the Bay Area and get back going with their lives until they come back up, his weekend, I think.

Again, I’m like a medical experiment gone wrong.

Our prayers/needs are:
- That I will be healed from this “whatever it is” and know it
- That we don’t lose our home because of this (we are close)
- That CC doesn’t lose her job for absences due to me and her mom
- That CC can be relieved from feeling overwhelmed by ALL of this and a home that needs at least two people to clean and keep up
- That Missy and Josh will not become scared, worried or fearful of/for me when the attacks happen.
- That God will continue to make our financial ends meet on CC’s part time salary
- That I will not lose my disability because of Kaiser’s inability to agree on a diagnosis for me.

These are all prayers and requests that are far bigger than me and far bigger than my family and our only hope is that God will pull us through this. We are in over our heads.
-w