Thursday, May 31, 2007
Trying to go to sleep, but it's 11:45 PM and my mind won't stop and my back and knee hurt from falling totoday while bowling...yes, I wanted to try bolwling with my family. It meant a lot to all of us to have the time together celebrating us.
God has been giving me good thoughts and such and I am grateful beyond words.
I listenend to a CD the kids wanted to hear in the van and it was one I used to play while I worked in the Worship Center at FOPC and I was instantly stung by depression that I don't have that anymore. Part of me wahts to say that it was taken away from me, but then, to be consistent with that original analogy, I would have to submit that it was never mine to begin with but simply in my charge until further notice...and last year, I got served my notice, so to speak. At any rate my heart broke again realizing what I know longer have as my vocation and craft.
Perhaps God will grant me another, but He's fulfilled a number of my dreams...He owes me not.
Still hurt though.
Looking back towards happier thoughts and topics, time to go back to bed.
I'll correct my spelling in the morning...maybe...
I am loved. That should be enough.
What more is there for me that that I am loved by my family?
I married my dream girl. She gave us the two most incredible children ever to breathe air that I know. My parents and my sister still love me after 43 years.
I can focus on that.
I'll catch up on the past couple days next I write...
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Hey Bud
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't written for a while--just didn't have the words to ease your pain & make things right.
You guys must feel like you've got your heads stuck in a revolving door--just getting whacked around time after time.
Sad news about Jazzy...the kids doing o.k.
The move of Carols mother will hopefully ease the burdens of the household.
Please don't lose sight that you are a very lucky young man--you did marry the girl of your dreams who has given you 2 gorgeous kids--they all love you. You also have the love & support of family & assorted friends spread far & wide.
There will be a way through this mess.
Now I need a favor--please give Carol & the kids huge hugs & kisses from us; let them know we're thinking of you all.
For whatever reason God threw you & I together (I don't try to figure these things out--way beyond my comprehension)... we've been brothers ever since--don't go forgetting that.
Now as you can see it's late/early depending on what side of the ocean you live & I do need some beauty sleep (lots & lots I hear you say)
As always love & prayers are with you
Take care Pal
Neil