So what's the deal been?

Well, obviously it's been quite a while since I have written anything in the blog. Indeed, much has gone on including some travel, birthdays, holiday etc.  It’s also fair to say that my battle with coaster-rolling has increased along with some strange computer issues which I’ve allowed to bog me down to a degree.  I continue to covet your prayers for healing and peace as I take each day, one at a time.  The kids are doing great and CC is her usual incredible self.

From here, keep in mind that I’m dictating the majority of this, so there may be some misspellings and transposed words from time to time.

As per usual I think the easiest way to proceed is to recall the most recent events and work my way backwards. Yesterday,

Friday, began pretty much as most other days have, and that I was mobile and feeling like I wanted to see accomplishments done before I would be unable to do things. As a result of the winter weather that we have been having, the backyard has been littered with leaves and small twigs so I chose to use the leaf blower and get the backyard looking proper. Before anyone rolls their eyes, the reason that we got the leaf blower was so that I could be doing yard work without having to put out a lot of physical effort in the leaf blower has definitely turned out to be a tool that I can use without heavy price, generally speaking. In fact, I did get the backyard looking good and fairly cleaned up without incident. The issue, and yes there was an issue, was that when I move the barbecue back into place, somehow the connection between the regulator and the tank did not remain sealed and thus propane gas began leaking from the tank. Moving the barbecue was the last thing that I did before opening the glass door to the house and leaving it open so that I could move the tools back into the garage and it was during this time that the propane gas found its way into the house and on my return trip from the garage to the backyard I started smelling the gas. Nothing blew up, thankfully, but the problem was I could not identify the smell accurately and I could not tell if it was coming from outside or inside in that the barbecue is normally resident beside the glass door so the gas was in fact outside as well as inside. After beginning to get a little light headed, I felt myself getting confused so I called 911 and told them that I was smelling gas in the house and they instructed me to gather whatever pets I have and go outside away from the house, which I did. After grabbing with my portable oxygen tanks, Annie and I waited outside and waited for the firemen to show up. As luck would have it, CC pulled up just as the fire chief pulled up, and you can imagine her surprise. I'd swear to you that it is nearly impossible for that woman to panic. I explained to the Fire Chief what I had smelled of what was going on and he asked if I needed to be checked out, I told him no, and then I explained what was going on to CC as well. Two or three fire trucks pulled up and quickly went into the house, identified the smell is propane and, I guess, immediately look for the barbecue and located the source of the leak. The firemen brought in a powerful fan and pulled the existing air out of the house and then gave us the all clear to go back inside. The Fire Chief along with another firemen, asked a few times if I wanted to be checked out on site or go to the ER, to which both CC and I expressed our appreciation but declined the offer. Absolutely worthy of note here is that Annie was outside with me with the firemen walking all around and she never barked once. We were most impressed. I was down for the rest of the day, as I was expecting I might be, but I experience no continuing repercussions an hour or so afterwards.

Thursday, I don't remember a whole lot other than feeling weak and poorly and not accomplishing hardly anything at all. My one main accomplishment for Thursday was going to Missy and Joshua's karate class with them, something I have always loved to do. My primary mistake for Thursday was choosing to try and eat something from Panda Express after the karate class with CC and the kids. Not the smartest move, though the price was considerably lighter than it could have been.

Wednesday I went to the dentist to fix a cracked filling on one of my two front teeth, and though I will spare you all the details, the appointment did not go as smoothly as I would have liked. In the course of my dentist appointments since 2007, we have learned to instruct the dentist not to use Novocain and epinephrine together, which means that the numbing shots are just Novocain by itself. Epinephrine is an additive typically used in conjunction with Novocain to lengthen the effects of the numbing agent and is also unknown trigger for HKPP. Without the epinephrine, the numbing agent wears off fairly quickly which is not necessarily a good thing. During the course of my appointment, and though I was using nitrous oxide, I asked the dentist to use a shot with epinephrine so that I wouldn't keep getting numbing shots through the course of the rest of the appointment. Within seconds of the numbing shots with the epinephrine, spasms began at the end of the appointment drew nigh. Long story shorter, I go back in two weeks for two permanent crowns to replace my two front teeth. Also worthy of note is that my dentist called yesterday morning to ask how I was doing and see if I was all right; I was and am impressed with him. As is probably obvious, I was down for the rest of Wednesday.
I'm not remembering much of Tuesday or Monday or daily occurrences before that, so that's probably it for the play-by-play.
Looking backwards, the kids had the week of Thanksgiving off so CC and I had planned a trip down to Southern California, to stay with my younger brother Scott Shuford and his family for the week and we drove back Thanksgiving Eve to Santa Barbara and then on Thanksgiving day we drove from Santa Barbara back Orangevale. The Saturday before Thanksgiving, Scotty put together a small celebration for my birthday and I got to see some beloved friends for a while that day. Another of my closest brothers, Harry, was able to attend the party and also spend the night which did my heart good.


Garrett Graham was also there and I haven't seen him since Scotty's college days at San Jose State.
 

The following morning, Sunday, we went to church and then lunch with Harry as well.


Tres amigos


One of a kind; Uncle Harry.


Scotty and Kyle
  

Spent part of the afternoon with Becca and her little one.
  

Family portrait at the Shuford’s.
 

Hangin’ with Batman on Hollywood Blvd.
 

…and a Imperial Trooper, but he wanted money for us to take a pic with him, so…yeah.


Thanksgiving morning in Santa Barbara and we couldn’t leave the  Coast without letting the kids get their feet wet…
 

Daddy and daughter


Missy and Joshua
 

Santa Barbara Pier
 

The beach-


Tired?


…Yeah, tired.  Notice that Joshua’s right hand is in mid-DS mode on his Nintendo. :o)  L.A. traffic will do it every time.


So, I hope this will do as an update.  I’ll have some more pics to post, but for now, this suffices.
-w




.

28 Years Ago

28 Years ago this night, my dearest friend and "big brother", Ben Clanton was killed/murdered.
He exemplified how to love people.
I know he's with his Father, but he has been missed ever since.
Peace-

This is worth the 4 minutes +

Click this link and take a view...
http://www.infowars.com/steve-wynn-takes-on-washington

It's Monday Night, Do You Know Where Your Attitude Is?

 

 

As is usually the case, much time has passed since I last posted anything of personal substance and I find myself now having to remember what's gone on over the past several weeks, which is proving to be problematic at best.
I think in general, I've had some really good days, days that have allowed me much more physical freedom than has been, and typically would be, dictated by the disease. Of course, these really good days are seen to be balanced against days where the term "Not so good" would be a relative understatement.
Given how much time has passed since I last brought you up to date, I'll begin with today and work my way backwards as best I can, trying to cover all of the really cool and good things as well as keeping an account of the un-fun and troublesome things. Now with all that being said, I want to clarify that this posting is being done verbally through Dragon NaturallySpeaking software instead of being typed, so you may find grammatical or punctuation errors as well as occasional wrong words so please, just bear with me.

Overall, today, Monday, September 6, 2010 has not been a bad day though I have been struggling physically for the better part of the day. We all slept in this morning with CC and I getting up more in the 930 range in the kids later than that. The primary goal for the day, for me anyway, was to go after the ever mutating "need to get done" list and being that I wanted to get certain things cleaned, using one of our vacuums was the logical route to begin with. The problem was that I found there to be a buildup of dust and hair clogging in the vacuums wind tunnel which required me to briefly disassemble it and clean it out before putting it back together and begin its use. It was during this time that I made the poor decision to remain standing yet been over to a degree in order to clean and manipulate the vacuum that was being operated on. It had only been a matter of 5 to 10 minutes that I took to accomplish the task of cleaning out the vacuum, but during that time I had locked my knees in order to give myself a degree of better balance without tiring out my legs. The issue came when it was time for me to stand up straight and move my legs only to find that he standing up straight took four times longer than it should have and the muscles in my legs and knees had clearly declined cooperation about the time that I was determining how badly it was going to hurt when I fell forward onto the pavement I heard the glass door slide open behind me and out came Joshua asking if I was all right, with his mother right on his heels, saving me from what would have undoubtedly been an embarrassing yet painful private meeting between the patio cement and my face. This all took place around noon. CC helped me walk inside and get into my black chair where I stayed for 45 minutes to an hour, hoping that my leg in the muscles would forgive and forget and allow me to move on with my day. This was not to be. In fact, it is 7:31 PM right now and I'm still having to walk with the use of two canes and have only been able to actually walk now for the last 2 1/2 hours. We will see how the night ends, but my guess is that I'm going to be horizontal before too long.

Yesterday was Sunday, September 5, 2010 and for the life of me right now, I can't remember much of any particulars from the day, except that I don't believe that I took any hits. Though my right arm was still painful, there was a portion of the day where I was able to play guitar for a little while and actually learn some . 38 Special songs that I've always wanted to learn! Joshy worked on homework while CC and Missy had a “girls day out" for the day and evening which was really, really nice for them to be able to do.

Prior to yesterday, was Saturday, September 4, 2010 and we left Annie here at the house while we drove down to San Carlos to celebrate my sister Mindy’s 50th birthday party, taking place at her house. I'm not sure how far we had traveled en route to the party before I took a major hit of paralysis that lasted hours, not minutes and made for a terribly embarrassing entrance into what was a very jovial and joy filled home, full of family and close friends. I know that I have failed in the past in trying to describe how it feels to be carried by one or two people and not be able to see them or speak to them but hear them as if you were looking them in the face while they spoke to you. It's a curious experience in one way and it's maddening in many others. One thing you do become very, very adept and skilled at is the ability to perceive stress, sadness, anxiousness, happiness and other emotions using only your senses of hearing and touch. Over the last four years I've really come to believe that the blind often see far more than those who are limited to their sight. Add to this that my right arm/elbow was extremely weak and very painful and it made for very slow and deliberate movements, but only when needed. Anyway, I digress. Judging by the smile on my sister's face, I believe that the party was a resounding success and I know from my perspective that I really enjoyed my time and being able to speak with, and hang with some of those are most dear to me. By 9:30 PM that night, we were back on the road on our way home to our puppy dog who felt left behind and neglected and to our house that looked left behind and neglected... sink full of dishes, full trash cans, overflowing laundry; you get the picture.

Prior to Saturday, was a pretty full day on Friday of which only the midmorning hours were productive on my end. Sometime, very shortly after lunch, I had been eating a small bag of carrots while sitting at the counter in the dining room/kitchen and I realized that I was beginning to fade, so my goal was to go around the counter into the kitchen and grabbed a plastic cup, fill it with water and put Effor-K tab indent and get to my black chair in the living room. I believe I made it to the end of the counter when I realized I had a very brief option of leaning against and then sliding down a wall versus walking a couple more steps and then falling in an unknown direction, so I took the sliding option and wound up on the floor way between the kitchen and the living room. I was able to get my cell phone out and speed dial CC before gravity bullied me all the way to the ground. I have no idea how long I laid on the floor until CC came home, still with a car load of kids who needed to be dropped off at their respective homes. For the first time in a very long time, I had considered calling 911 but being that I was home alone and that Annie was not crated, I didn't know how that would work out especially being that she becomes very anxious and defensive when I am experiencing an attack or hurt. I guess I have to make some phone calls to the local fire department to find out what they would suggest regarding something like this, should it happen in the future...

Once CC and the kids got home, they crated Annie and brought over an next door neighbor who helped CC lift me off the ground and get me into my black chair. I remained nearly fully paralyzed for the better part of the day, which sucked. Unfortunately, either during the slide/fall or my battle with gravity once I was on the ground, my right elbow and arm became very painful and weak and I was unable to bear weight on my right side until today.

My recollection of Thursday, September 2, 2010 was getting up in the morning and taking my chair and getting Annie out for a walk before going with CC to our PT appointment that morning. Being that CC and I go together on Thursdays to physical therapy, CC is now usually the first one called in so that she is able to be taken care of before I am called into a room, just in case things go south with me so she doesn't miss out on her appointment. Indeed, this was a good decision on this particular Thursday because I only made it partway through the muscle massage and stretching when I could feel an attack beginning and me fading. We made it home without incident but it seems that the walk from the Van into the house was the very last walking that I would do for the rest of the day, in that I went into full paralysis while in my black chair and later that afternoon had to be helped up stairs by both CC and Missy who helped me get into bed for the night.

I'm not sure why my number came up for so many attacks in so many straight days, but we do think that a contributing factor to Thursday's attack which began at the PT office was partly due to my not having consumed enough potassium before arriving for my appointment as well as having expended energy in taking Annie out for a walk prior to the appointment. As for Friday's hit, my only clue, accurate or not, was that I ate a snack bag of sliced carrot sticks. Carrots have not been a trigger in the past but that means nothing to the future. Saturday's attack while riding down to the Bay Area was also preceded by me eating sliced carrots... so for now, no more carrots.

So, that's the best that I can remember for now. Unquestionably, there is certainly much more to share but before I begin to try and do that, I need to collect my thoughts and recollections so that what I share makes sense.

God willing, there is much music on the horizon... it is my hope and prayer to be able to be a part of it.

 

That’ll be it for now... peace.

Today

     
I'm so very tired to write very much, but today was a GREAT day that we spent at Marine World/Six Flags.  I'll hope to write more tomorrow, but the highlite of today HAD to be taking the chance and riding the Medusa Rollercoaster with Joshua, us sitting in the VERY front seats!  No attack followed!!!!  



It's the first time that Joshy and I rode an adult-type rollercoaster togther, ever!!!!!  Pic to eventually follow.
Thanks PPA for making available some of the tools necessary to have some life OUTSIDE my home!
...Bedtime...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  
  
  

bad hit 2nite.

bad hit 2nite.

What’s It All About?

  

  

Once again I'm way overdue; I believe this is finally now become the rule to the exception.

There has been so much talk over the past several months regarding my consideration and decision to undergo tear duct surgery in my right eye, that I now realize I did not share nearly any of that with my extended family and friends. What follows, will hopefully reflect a coherent reasons and intentions as to why I chose surgery.

Over 15 years ago, it will be 16 years this coming September, I would very occasionally have to contend with what appeared to be a blocked and/or infected right eye tear duct. During the first few years, I would encounter these blockages once a year on average, and though we did not seek medical attention for it most of the , we didn't treat it is logically as we could and after 3 to 5 weeks, the blockage/infection would release and within a few days, my eye would return to normal operation. Over the years, these blockages and infections have happened 2 to 4 times a year in the same eye, and besides the increase in frequency of occurrences, the blockages became more painful, larger and more visible in the corner of my eye.

Here comes the graphic…

This scan shows what the surgery was/for:
The red area in the mid/lower right shows the existing partial blockage.
The yellow coloration shows the bone that was removed.
The green represents the solid plastic tubing that was inserted to create a new pathway for the tears to flow into the nasal cavity. The stitches will be removed in a week and the tubing will be removed in 6 weeks or so.

In what certainly appeared to be an escalation of a problem, the last time that I had to contend with one of these infections, it lasted four or five weeks and concluded with a five day migraine, the likes of which I had never experienced ever before and do not want to experience ever again. It was at this point that we pursued an ophthalmologist and did not settle with the familiar "keep the heating pad on it and massage until painful or it opens". It was during this time in our investigation, but I began to develop the disposition, not unlike that which I have in dealing with dentists... don't like them. This next part is not so nice; for an ophthalmologist or eye surgeon to verify the flow of one's tear duct, said ophthalmologist or eye surgeon must insert a needle into the tear duct opening in the inside corner of your eye and, once said needle is inserted and KEEPING it inserted, they then must change its placement/position and angle of trajectory so that they can use the syringe to force water through the tear duct and verify that it is either open, partially blocked, mostly blocked or completely blocked. This stinking hurts, end of story.  The only times that I ever found it mostly bearable was when the ophthalmologist would use numbing eye drops in an effort to numb the tear duct opening. This, unfortunately, was only ever sometimes marginally successful. After a few months of these types of blockage tests, it became clear that the logical next step was to try and fix the problem with surgery. That is what we did last Thursday morning in the main operating room at Morse Ave. Kaiser.

We went into the surgery as prepared as we possibly could have been, but during recovery more lessons were learned, as is the trend when you live with HKPP. The only thing that we did not completely prepare for, was clarifying which narcotics and nausea medicine works best on me... needless to say, what they were prepared with and what I was in need of were entirely different medicines, so when I came out of the general anesthetic, while in the recovery room, I did not transition from one numbing medicine to another; the pain relief simply wore off very quickly and my muscles began to lock up because of the intense pain that was not being managed because the medicines that are standard protocol in their recovery room are medicines that have no physical effect on me. That was a very, very hard few hours with a handful of nurses and technicians who knew zero about my condition and who were stumped as to why my pain was escalating and not decreasing. Ultimately, it would have been in my best interests to have proactively asserted into my chart and paperwork, what quantities of which pain medications work with me and which ones don't. The information is already in the chart, but you have to look for it, and in an ER, an ambulance and/or recovery room, there is very little time spent with the patient one-on-one with their medical chart open right to the page that answers all of those questions.

It is not my fault, but it is something that I could have affected to my benefit had I thought it that much further through.

 

Ok, it's that time. 1:31 AM and my night meds are just beginning to work, finally.

 

Peace-

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday through Sunday

 

Tear duct surgery to create a new tear duct passage for my right eye. 

Ixney Unfey.

 

eye surgery = wow. impressive

eye surgery = wow. impressive pain

Surgery

It's 4:24 AM and we are heading in to Kaiser for my tear duct surgery this morning...mild anxiousness but I know Who holds me.  Once I am able, I will catch this up in better form.
peace-
w

Friday Down

 

It’s been a while, I know.  This entry is to log that I took a pretty hard hit this afternoon, even after/as I was taking my Potassium Fizzies.

First thing I noticed was that I was staring at a blank computer screen unable to remember why I began looking at it in the first place.  Next, my lips began to go numb and my eyelids no longer were behaving my orders to remain open.  I managed tunnel vision to see the counter (I was sitting at the desk in the dining room) and got myself there before my legs went fully out.  CC pushed me against the counter in an effort to stabilize me and keep me from falling ( think).  She called for Missy to come and help and next thing I knew I was falling into the black chair.

 

I don’t like the attacks that are accompanied with numbness, especially in my lips; it’s a terrifying feeling of awareness that things are not at all right.

I was down for a number of hours and now can only hobble with the use of 2 canes instead of one.

Prayers for a better tomorrow…

peace-

Dancing with Kaiser

  

  

I replied to a friend just today, regarding my last hospital stay and felt I should include the same in here, so, here you go:

Sorry to not have answered the different requests for more info regarding my last dance with Kaiser Roseville...bleh.

To spare you a Pepto moment (or the necessary gouging of one's mind's eye), suffice it to say that sections of my intestines (entire large intestine particularly) became paralyzed and simply shut down (“went to sleep” according to ER docs) so life got to an unbearable state after about 12 – 15 days and I was taken by ambulance to the ER, released 10 hours later with very little progress and then 48 hours later admitted for 6 days while they medicated me while “we” waited for my system to “wake up”/un-paralyze. 48 hours after being released from my 6 day dance, I was back in the ER due to vicious withdrawals from the med they used to “make the pain bearable” and due to stopping another pain med that I’d been on for nearly 4 years…they SUCK at “dancing”, so to speak.

Hard to believe that THAT IS the abbreviated/edited version…

In fact, the blessing of my stay there was that my brother Kevin Kern came down from Sutter, cleared all his appointment-decks and stayed with me for 24 hrs to make sure I was cared for righteously and had an advocate there during some time where CC and my mom were unavailable or just in need of a break.  Make NO mistake; Kevin is a man of his word AND His Word.  :o)  He’s my bro-

Paralysis can take numerous muscular forms and in this case besides my arms, legs, jaw, neck being hit, the muscles surrounding the intestines also took the hit, only they did not respond to the levels of potassium I took to bring my regular motor skills back around and we had no way to know, initially, that what was going on was HKPP related.

*sigh*

…but hey, I’m writing a little music here and there, as I have the strength and desire to be creative, so life could CERTAINLY be worse.

Swing batter, batter, batter…Swing!

:o)

Jesus Christ Is Lord!

Regardless of all the crap I know, the pain I feel and the sleep I lose, THIS, I know in more than just in my language;


イエスキリストは主である!
...is Japanese for "Jesus Christ is Lord!"


ישוע המשיח הוא אלוהים!
...is Hebrew for "Jesus Christ is Lord!"

The translations are literally endless, the further you step from your home, for languages and dialects change from corner to corner and country to country, but no matter where you go, Jesus is STILL Lord and MY Saviour!


Lord God, I ask for your blessings on us this day and your forgiveness of our constant and embarrassing failings while we live and breath, even now.


Amen.

We went back in to the ER this morning due to full body spasms and restlessness; I was unable to sleep last night and tried a variety of locations & position, to no avail.
So, CC took me in and they confirmed her suspicion, that I am experiencing withdrawls from going off of my methadone and from 6 straight days of another narcotic from last week.
We are on our way home now.
I'm exhausted.

Well, I'm on my way

Well, I'm on my way home; Still no success as to why this is happening, though my hunch is that it is HKPP related.
*sigh*

The fam came 2 visit me-

Hotel Kaiser...

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Well, I've been at Kaiser now since Tuesday morning and have begun to get some progress with my system trying to re-set itself in terms of digestion and process. Needless to say, this is not something I'm going to write about in detail, but thr better news is that there IS progress.
Couldn't sleep much last night so I have to be more vigilant in terms of signs of an HKPP hit as a result.
I'm everso gratefull for your prayers and and intercession on my family and my behalf.

There'll be more when I know more-
Peace-

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Currently admitted in Kaiser (after

Currently admitted in Kaiser (after ER) trying 2 get the muscles around my intestins to work right.
Prayers welcomed.

Back From Hell

 

Kind of a dramatic title, but it fits in many ways.  Yesterday, Saturday, started out fairly “normal” for me but by 10:30 or 1100 am, I was in severe pain.  The pain radiated from my lower intestines and was inconsolable; no matter what I did, I could not make it stop.  By noon-ish, CC had called 911 and I was in the ER by 12:30.  I stayed in the ER until 8 or 9.  I’ll not go into detail (you’re welcome) but the bottom line appears to be that the muscles in and around my lower intestines and colon have become intermittent and thus resulting in excruciating pain.  I cannot begin to describe (nor will I) how the day progressed.  My body eventually cooperated a little which gave me some relief, but it was brutal.  CC stayed with me the entire time and was solely responsible for keeping my HKPP at bay during the whole thing.

…next…?

 

Stupid Disease!

*Sent from my email address

Worth The Time…

 

 

I read this from an email today, one that my dad had forwarded to me to read.

It is worth posting in its entirety.

Here is the link… http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/01/31/reid.transcript/

…and the article is included below.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Reid: 'I am at war with your country'

Friday, January 31, 2003 Posted: 11:10 AM EST (1610 GMT)

Richard Reid

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Reid sentenced to life in prison

(CNN) – The following is a partial transcript of Thursday's court hearing in which Richard Reid was sentenced to life in prison for his confessed plan to try and blow up a jetliner with explosives he had hidden in his shoes. The exchange is between Reid and Judge William Young.

RICHARD REID: I start by praising Allah because life today is no good. I bear witness to this and he alone is right to be worshiped. And I bear witness that Muhammad Sa'laat Alayhi as-Salaam is his last prophet and messenger who is sent to all of mankind for guidance, with the sound guidance for everyone.

Concerning what the Court said? I admit, I admit my actions and I further, I further state that I done them.

JUDGE WILLIAM YOUNG: I didn't hear the last. I admit my actions and then what did you say?

REID: I further admit my allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah. With regards to what you said about killing innocent people, I will say one thing. Your government has killed 2 million children in Iraq. If you want to think about something, against 2 million, I don't see no comparison.

Your government has sponsored the rape and torture of Muslims in the prisons of Egypt and Turkey and Syria and Jordan with their money and with their weapons. I don't know, see what I done as being equal to rape and to torture, or to the deaths of the two million children in Iraq.

So, for this reason, I think I ought not apologize for my actions. I am at war with your country. I'm at war with them not for personal reasons but because they have murdered more than, so many children and they have oppressed my religion and they have oppressed people for no reason except that they say we believe in Allah.

This is the only reason that America sponsors Egypt. It's the only reason they sponsor Turkey. It's the only reason they back Israel.

As far as the sentence is concerned, it's in your hand. Only really it is not even in your hand. It's in Allah's hand. I put my trust in Allah totally and I know that he will give victory to his religion. And he will give victory to those who believe and he will destroy those who wish to oppress the people because they believe in Allah.

So you can judge and I leave you to judge. And I don't mind. This is all I have to say. And I bear witness to Muhammad this is Allah's message.

YOUNG: Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you.

On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive one with the other. That's 80 years.

On Count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you on each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million.

The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines.

The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.

The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need not go any further.

This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and a just sentence. It is a righteous sentence. Let me explain this to you.

We are not afraid of any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here. And I say that to everyone with the utmost respect.

Here in this court where we deal with individuals as individuals, and care for individuals as individuals, as human beings we reach out for justice.

You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist.

And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists.

We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.

So war talk is way out of line in this court. You're a big fellow. But you're not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders.

In a very real sense Trooper Santiago had it right when first you were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and you said you're no big deal. You're no big deal.

What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with, and what I have, as honestly as I know how, tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this courtroom today? I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing.

And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you. But as I search this entire record it comes as close to understanding as I know.

It seems to me you hate the one thing that to us is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose.

Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea. It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely.

It is for freedom's seek that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their, their representation of you before other judges. We care about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties.

Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bear any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms.

Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow it will be forgotten. But this, however, will long endure. Here, in this courtroom, and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.

The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged, and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.

See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag still stands for freedom. You know it always will. Custody, Mr. Officer. Stand him down.

fini-

Its after 3am. cant get

Its after 3am. cant get 2 sleep; legs & hips feeling partially electrically charged and restless.
Grrrrr.
come sleep, come.

Its aftwe cant get 2

Its aftwe cant get 2 sleep; legs & hips feeling partially electrically charged and restless.
Grrrrrr.

Very nasty and harsh attack

Very nasty and harsh attack around 12:30. Felt weak before hand. Went down quick; full spasms & cramps. Not walking.
:o(

Hearts Heal in Time…

  

  

I’m still pretty numb to my emotions.  Lows are tempting and the highs feel just out of reach. My love for my wife, daughter and son have deepened and my love for our Doby-mix Annie  has also taken deeper root.

It’s ok to hurt now.

On to today; PT went good this morning and then following that we went back home and then my dear friend and mentor Art Yeap came by and took me to lunch nearby.   CC came and met us at The Habit in Citrus Heights/Fair Oaks for lunch and we were blessed by his heart, spirit and words.  Art is a gift to those who know him and I count myself richly blessed.

Following lunch, CC and I headed out to pick up kids from the schools and run them to their homes (2 other families in addition to ours) and it was during the final leg of this run that I began to fade.  Couldn’t really move my legs after sitting as long as I had and then down went the eyelids.  The hit ended up not a bad one, but my body was exhausted and I think that was a key contributor to the attack.

I was reading an email earlier today and it does a good job of speaking more  basically regarding HKPP so I’m going to close out with a quote of part of the email here but not include the name of the writer until I get their permission to include it.  Just know that I didn’t write it.

The symptoms of PP are caused by the fluctuation of serum K+ which then affects muscle tone, *but* hypokalemia - in general - affects every neuronal junction in the body, as potassium is one of the two charged cations that "fire up" the electrical grid that our cells operate on.

You might think of this as a dimmable light switch, one of the dial- types, with an infinite number of settings. It will handle a 100 watt bulb, but let's say we only had a 50 watt bulb in the drawer, so we stuck that in the socket.

So, the mark straight up means potassium is at a normal level. When you turn the dial down (dim the lights) you are actually *increasing* the resistance to the flow of electrons in the wire. That's just what happens when K+ ions drop in the blood serum. Cell membranes ALL over the body increase their resistance and become more resistant to stimulation. The muscles get weaker, because the stimulation can't overcome that resistance. In the brain, low K+ causes reduced reaction time, less reaction, a "dimming" of the normal emotional responses.

If you turn the dial UP the light gets brighter because electrons flow more easily, resistance to stimulation is reduced. Just the same in us. Too much K+ in the serum causes the ion gates to become too sensitive to stimulation. They contract too vigorously, or too often, and become weakened. If the dial is turned too high the light bulb pops. In HyperKPP or PMC this is the point where weakness becomes paralysis. The muscle packs up and says, "No more until you get this wiring problem worked out!"

Fluctuations in K+ don't just affect the skeletal muscle, they affect every cell and organ, because we literally run off a power grid created by the movement of sodium and potassium ions in our cells.

And while the PPs are loosely grouped with the neuromuscular disorders, the brain has nothing to do with creating the symptoms.

 

Peace

End of an Era with Loss in Our Hearts

 

 

Shadow Cat Odum

(September, 1989 ~ April 26, 2010)

Today is Monday, April 26, 2010

Our hearts began to openly break while we stood in the vet’s office and heard the words, that our beloved Shadow cat, whom we’ve had for nearly 21 years, since she was a little grey kitten, has at best a 05% chance of rebounding from a blood clot located at the arterial split for the blood flow to the hind legs and quarters.   

She tried to walk but would end up dragging her back-half of her body by pulling herself forward with her front legs. 

 

CC and I had as good a quality time with her as we could have hoped for and that helped…but we knew after talking to our most favorite and trusted vet, Dr. Arbios, that we could no longer save her or protect her from her death.  God blessed us even as we shared our breaking hearts with each other and reminded us that she is not dying in great pain or showing signs of sufferings which certainly would be expected when encountering a cat of her age with her known medical issues that we’ve been treating on a daily basis.

Shadow went to sleep in CC’s arms and CC cuddled her until she was fully asleep, then Dr. Arbios came in and carried her to another part of the clinic where she would be given the second shot. 

Some of the staff came in and gave us hugs and consoled us before we left with an empty cat carrier.

My emotional fabric has the consistency of a cobweb; many of you know this already.

Your prayers and thoughts are not unlike life-changing food for the starving, that strengthens them, nourishes them and brings them a lift in their spirit.  We have been weakened and our hearts have been broken.

peace.

Thursday Night…

 

I have a closed/blocked right tear duct and have been referred to a Surgery clinic to resolve the issue.  The biggest issue at the moment is a migraine since Saturday.  The two pain shot injections (After Hours Clinic on Sunday and ER on Monday ) were very helpful, but they didn’t break the cycle. 

We saw an Ophthalmologist on Tuesday who tried a few times to irrigate the tear duct, but the efforts were unsuccessful and were pretty stressful for me. I’m doing better at home; sleeping alright, but once I get up and as the day progresses, the migraine increases.  Doing computer work (yeah, like posting a blog…), watching TV, reading, light, sound and movement all tend to escalate it. The antibiotics for the eye should resolve some of that pain and hopefully the migraine will end soon. 

Earlier today, I felt a burning sensation at the opening of the tear duct and noticed some an off-yellow substance at the opening and after cleaning that away, the “bump” blockage felt much smaller.  It’s not gone, but it is certainly better. 

Thank you so very much for your prayers.

The goal now is to vanquish the migraine, and if possible, figure out what exactly caused it.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

And now…

some pics of Joshua’s 5th grade float:

 

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Flickr Tags: HKPP,Hypokalemic Periodic paralysis,muscle spasms,myclonic jerks,MDA,PPA.org,potassium,sodium,saline,Hyperaldosteronism,muscle pain,K-Lite,Effer-K,K+

LiveJournal Tags: HKPP,Hypokalemic Periodic paralysis,muscle spasms,myclonic jerks,MDA,PPA.org,potassium,sodium,saline,Hyperaldosteronism,muscle pain,K-Lite,Effer-K,K+

BuzzNet Tags: HKPP,Hypokalemic Periodic paralysis,muscle spasms,myclonic jerks,MDA,PPA.org,potassium,sodium,saline,Hyperaldosteronism,muscle pain,K-Lite,Effer-K,K+

Just finished at doc appt.

Just finished at doc appt. Migraign walking all over me. picking up meds to break it.

Update

 

 

  I saw the eye doc yesterday and he tried to flush the tear duct but the blockage/infection is not moving, so we are now headed towards surgery to remove the blockage.  I now know what migraines feel like and that sucks big time.  Reading, watching tv, light and loud sounds all make this whole thing worse.

Prayers are coveted and welcomed big-time.

 

I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact with anyone; I’m not much for legit conversation at this point, right now.  Please forgive my silence.

 

Hopefully this will get better asap.

Currently fighting migrains brought on

Currently fighting migrains brought on by a trarduct infection. Staying down.

Still down today with an

Still down today with an eye/tearduct infection. Having to read and write using my left eye. This sucks.

Late Night Question and Prayer Request

 

 

So, here’s a question I just had to have answered before I can finally go to sleep…

 

“When do you use i.e., and when do you use e.g., and what do they mean?

 

Answer: (from About.com at http://ancienthistory.about.com/od/abbreviations/f/ievseg.htm)

The Latin abbreviations "i.e." and "e.g." come up very frequently in writing and would probably come up more often if people were more sure of when it is right to use "i.e." and when "e.g." is required.

Ø i.e.

"I.e." stands simply for "that is," which written out fully in Latin is 'id est'.

"I.e." is used in place of "in other words," or "it/that is."

It specifies or makes more clear.

Ø e.g.

"E.g." means "for example" and comes from the Latin expression exempli gratia, "for the sake of an example," with the noun exemplum in the genitive (possessive case) to go with gratia in the ablative (prepositional case).

"E.g." is used in expressions similar to "including," when you are not intending to list everything that is being discussed.

 

 

Okay, on to reality.

Every year or so, I manage to acquire a tearduct infection in my right eye and guess what’s kicking my butt without a rest…?This one hurts SO much more than any of the other ones and is affecting more than just the tearduct opening itself; we’re talking vision is getting impaired in my right eye, the tissue all around my eye, eye brow and skin on my forehead is painful to the touch.  I ended up in an attack tonight because of the pain and muscle locks that were happening due to the pain.  If ever I wondered if the enemy attacks us when we are down and while we are beginning or in process of God’s work, start the presses and send this to print because it’s a fact.

 

Speaking of attacks and thus battles, this battle is done with me for tonight.  Body’s hurting too much to continue to sit and try and type using one uninfected but slightly blurry eye.

 

I’m praying for His miracle to remove this infection, in the name of Jesus.

I covet your prayers-

peace

w

 

Issues and Victories

As the title suggests, recent memory is a collage of both issues and victories.  For now, the issues are more visible because they interrupt my enjoyment of even the little things.  Currently, I’m at my desk typing these thoughts and becoming distracted by leg and thigh pain that have been very present all day.  I took a hit while at PT this morning and had to be helped out and into the car thanks to an attack while on the PT table.  Since then, I can only walk with the use of 2 canes or the walker, so I’m choosing the 2 canes for now, though they make my arms fatigue faster.

Last night, while at Joshua’s Open House at school, I took another hit but CC got me to the car before it locked on to me and took me down.  I remember saying to CC that I feel like a prisoner.  That’s how I feel today, too.  It makes me SO angry and there is nothing I can do to prevent it, in totality.  I can watch my diet, body temp, glucose levels and on and on, but I can do nothing to prevent these hits from happening.

So frustrating.

…More later-

After Easter 2010

 

Well, it's been quite a while since I've posted once again and there's much that's gone on over the past 3 to 4 months that could use some explaining, however, the majority of all of that does not belong on here because it involves other people. So, suffice it to say that Easter has come and gone and the Odum family in Orangevale is returning to some semblance of normal following a week long spring break for both kids.

Okay, new rant, yet brief: is there any logic, WHAT SO EVER, to youths and young adult males still wearing their pants at or below their butt line, so that when they walk one hand must always be holding onto their pants so that they don't fall completely off?? I truly, truly, truly did not get it! All right, I'll do my best to stop there and try and let it go for the day. GAHHH!!!!!!

I was noting today, while looking around on YouTube.com that there are hardly any elaborative or definitive videos of people suffering from HKPP attacks. I found only one and it appears to be far more of a joke with the attacks seeming like some kind of punch line, rather than it being a beneficial video to somebody wondering if they are contending with neuromuscular attacks such as HKPP. Actually when I watched the video, I ended up more frustrated by what I saw them I did encouraged that there were was a video on YouTube entitled HKPP or Periodic Paralysis. So, what this brings me to, is feeling strongly that I should be videotaping my attacks as often as we are able to catch them on video, but not attacks where I'm not moving because that shows nothing to the viewer, in my opinion. What I'm finally at the point of wanting people to see, and recognize is that this disease manifests itself in a variety of different physical ways and unfortunately for me, but possibly fortunately for those who would view any of the videos, I suffer from a variety of attack manifestations, most of which are very apparent to the eye and I think would be helpful to have on tape. Some of the videos that I had seen on YouTube shows a person simply not moving for 30 or so seconds, and for me, that shows me only that a person can stay still for that amount of time rather than describing what's going on to the person in the video, so that's kind of where my head is right now. We have a Sony digital camcorder that we do all of our video recording on, but I am no longer able to locate the software install disk which will allow my computer to recognize the camera, so if anyone reading this has some constructive suggestions as to how I can remedy that problem without having to spend the money on buying another software package from Sony, please, please share it with me.

Now, as far as attacks go over the past 3 to 4 months, they have been nearly daily; ranging from full body “rag doll” paralysis to localized appendage paralysis, full body muscle spasms in a cyclical manner to full body “lockup” paralysis. Only in the past of weeks have I felt that I'm gaining ground back again, with much of that, in part, due to Mark McCoy and his Physical Therapy Clinic. The last attack was two days ago, Tuesday, shortly after helping CC cut off one of the branches on one of our backyard trees. I didn't feel it was very much effort at all, but CC told me later that she could see in my eyes and in my posture, that the attack was imminent. Very shortly after cutting the branch, I went back inside and sat down in my black chair and within a matter of minutes, I was down for the next four hours; unable to get up, speak and move.

I think it's also worth sharing that on Easter Sunday, I ended up having two attacks, hours apart from each other, but that following each of these attacks, my body rebounded in a matter of minutes after I was able to drink two or three doses of potassium each time. It will never get old to me and it will never be unimportant, to share that the biggest difference, in terms of having a better quality of life, was when we attended the 2009 Periodic Paralysis Conference in Orlando, Florida and we learned that the method of potassium treatment that we had been using since my diagnosis, was at best 7% to 10% effective in raising my potassium levels every time. We had no idea that the method of combining Apple juice with 25 mEq of liquid potassium was counter-effective, but it made all kinds of sense once it was explained to us and we were then able to understand why it would take me so very long to recover from my attacks. I'm not sure how many people read this or how many people remember how long my attacks were back in 2006 and 2007, but I would have attacks that would leave me bedridden for sometimes weeks at a time and I had to have home healthcare come to our house 2 to 3 times a week to run my labs and determine whether or not I needed to be admitted to the hospital to jumpstart the recovery. All of that has changed. All of it. At the conference, we were given the opportunity to try another form of potassium during one of my attacks, and the speed at which I recovered was astounding. If there is anyone out there who is battling a similar or same battle to mine, and your primary method of addressing your low potassium is with liquid potassium, then I would greatly encourage you to ask your doctor if you could try the Effer-K 25 mEq effervescent tablets. The reality that my attacks sometimes last hours is still a welcomed change to what, in my past, have been days, not hours. I think that there is another critical factor in terms of my faster recovery rate, and that is the weekly muscle stretching and massage attention that comes from my attending physical therapy twice a week. It's not a matter of only muscle stretching and weight conditioning nor is it only massage in the muscles but it is the combination that is helping to mitigate the muscle damage that I experience from each and every hit. That's something that a lot of people don't talk about when they get into discussions of HKPP as well as other forms of periodic paralysis, and that is that the muscles that are being affected by the leakage in the Channelopathy at the cellular level, are being permanently damaged with each attack, so, the better condition the muscle can be in prior to the attack, the less the damage and, to an extent, the quicker the recovery.

Well, it would appear that I have more on my mind than I thought... I hope all this make sense, but if it doesn't, that's okay.

Today has been a very, very full day and I am wiped out tired, so I'm going to post this and go and lay down for the remainder of the day/evening. As always, your prayers are coveted and your encouraging thoughts are warmly received.

Peace.

Photo test post to keep…

 

 

 

 

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Title to be determined later

Once again, I find myself wanting to post long after I should be asleep.

I know that I have been conspicuously absent from communications over the last several days if not several weeks and I'm sorry about that. In terms of what this blog was originally created for, it was/is to record my blessings and my trials, while living with this infuriating disease.

This past Thursday night, while with CC and the kids at Missy's karate class, an attack started in very quickly and we had to to leave the dojo while I felt I could still walk; very awkward and embarrassing. I'm not certain of how long the attack actually lasted, but I believe it lasted for almost an hour, where normally my attacks (now) usually last a few minutes, and then the recovery can take hours or days.

CC and Missy managed to literally carry me into the house because I was unable to even assist in balance or motion. They also got me up stairs and into bed in the same manner. I woke up in the darkness of the morning, aware that I couldn't move my hips, legs or feet. CC got up and got me some more potassium and then I fell back to sleep in the same state. The next morning, I was barely able to get from the bedroom to the bathroom and back without being carried and I did not make it downstairs at any point on Friday. At one point, while I was checking e-mail on my computer up stairs, another attack happened, with it being my abdomen, chest and leg muscles paying the price this time; back to the bed I went and back on oxygen. When I get the attacks where I can't breathe very well, even though those attacks are not uncommon, those scare me the most, which is what the attack was in my office. 

Yesterday, Saturday, I spent the morning in bed and then, with the use of two canes, was able to get downstairs and sit outside in my motorized chair while CC and Josh worked on the front yard. At least I got to be in the Sun for a small block of time, but the hip, leg and foot pain prevented me from doing much of any walking. In the afternoon, just after eating my lunch while watching TV with the kids in the living room, I paralyzed again. A bigger difference with this attack was that my eyes were able to be open and controllable, for the most part, but I still wasn't  able to speak.

It has been a really rough few days and I know that each of us here would covet any prayers that you would be able to offer on our behalf. In particular, I really want our family to be able to go to church tomorrow morning and I don't want this disease to prevent that from happening.

I always say that I will get more written and then I don't, but please know that it is something I want to do.

Praying for peace and restoration and protection --

w

 

Peace-

-w

 

 

 

LiveJournal Tags: Hypo,kypo,hyper,Hypokalemic,Hyperkalemic,periodic paralysis,Hypokalemic periodic paralysis,hyperkalemic periodic paralysis,sore muscles,muscle pain,myotonia,myclonic jerks,paralysis,spasms,rare,Mayo pain clinic,profuse sweating,unable to walk,motorized wheelchair,treatment,neuromuscular disease,potassium,saline,insulin