Friday, April 13, 2007
I bugs me to go days without writing much, but at the same time, sometimes it is difficult to write due to how I feel or the time it takes to write out my thoughts and not really having that time, conveniently.
I haven’t said anything officially on here as of yet regarding my job, but it’s pretty official at this point; I no longer work for FOPC; as of March 31, there would be no more insurance coverage and that pretty well closed the deal. Reality shows itself in many different forms, depending on the circumstance and in this case, the realities were that I haven’t worked since November 8 of last year and there was/is no end in sight. If I could think of manners in which I would want to transition from employment, this would not come up on the list, but it would certainly be in front of termination.
I was not terminated.
I simply was unable to return to work as work would and did describe the position I would have returned to. I’m still in mourning over it and have been now for some time. It’s impressively hard to “move on” when you don’t have something to move on to, and I don’t at this point.
Rob, who was my colleague and Chief Technician, is now and has been handling my role’s responsibilities since my absence, and he’s been doing a grand job which is without dispute. I consider him a true and good friend and am blessed by our friendship. Geoff was brought in to cover Rob’s role when Rob needed to step into my role, so, even though the department didn’t move forward in any really substantive step by bringing on another tech because my absence still leaves two techs in the department, Geoff’s work ethic and abilities allow the two of them to accomplish more than just Rob and I. I realize that reads like I couldn’t pull my own weight and I realize that there are some there at FOPC who think that is true, but there are different degrees of weight which had to be pulled and what I was limited to in the physical, I wasn’t limited to in the realms of leadership, political and business, though I have very little affection for the last two. Every church, regardless of size, has a political system and is a business operating with a budget; sometimes that budget is well into the millions of dollars and must be handled incredibly delicately and that requires business people to take care of business matters and those often conflict in the real word of ministry. I think that’s very unfortunate, but I think it is true nonetheless. I was once “complimented’ by a pastor at another church; “It’s really good you are here, Wade. You allow the rest of us to do ministry and not have to get caught up in and take care of the technical.” I accepted his heart on the intended compliment, but was angered by the perspective that my crew and I were little more than technical custodians. He saw me as being a business element necessary to “help” his ministry. I saw then, and see now, our ministry and our association (http://www.cmma.us) as a MINISTRY that helps and aids other ministries, not to mention directly ministers to those who attend a service, an event, or any other function where sound, lighting, computer graphics and or video use utilized. We are the front line players you aren’t supposed to see and are often the ones forgotten when “Thank You” speeches are written or spoken “off the cuff” after an event. Those who work in the Media Tech industry, especially in the House of Worship’s Media Tech industry, don’t become part of it because they want recognition or to be known. Hopefully, they are answering a call of God on their lives and as such, simply are doing what they are called to do. That doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be thanked; more often than not, if it wasn’t for them, there’d be only acoustical sound and natural or architectural light to illuminate any from of production; be it a Sunday Worship service, a memorial service, a wedding, a play, theater, a drama or even a meeting where one or more people want to communicate to more people than can hear them acoustically. No radio, no TV, no movies, no rock/country/blues/metal/pop/etc. concerts can generally take place without someone controlling sound, using a microphone, aiming a light and turning it on/up/down/off and or projecting any supportive/informative images on some screen someplace.
We do a lot.
And I’m proud of what I did and what my crew does and has done.
I’m proud of what our industry provides and even more often, of how we provide it.
In a church environment in particular, there are three universal departments that, daily, handle last minute calls for help and last minute requests; Media Technologies, Facilities and Hospitality. Each of these departments provides services that enable other departments to hold and carry out functions and gatherings, regardless of the base. Some churches may not officially have these departments, but I feel confident that they have at least one person who is responsible to set out a microphone and attach it to a mixer someplace, set up a table and chairs, make note that someone wants to use a room in a building someplace and prepares that room for its use. One way or another, these services are provided either by those who need it done or by those who are helping those in need. Media Technologies, Facilities and Hospitality are each departments of the “Helps” ministry. We don’t JUST help enable others to perform ministry; we minister too.
Hhmmm…I guess I have some opinion on the topic…
Due to the obvious change in my life and the lives of my family, my emotions are all over the place and while I was out today, I stopped by FOPC to pick up more of my stuff from what was my office and that reality just stung for a while, though my thoughts often went in the direction of my crew and how much I enjoy(d) them. I plan to come by on a particular Sunday to see them again and also hope to set up some kind of dinner or something with all of them some time sooner than later. This part of the forced transition is more than painful.
I miss my friends.
I’ve been reading over the past couple weeks about the Imus situation from radio and now that he’s been fired from CBS because of his comment during an off the cuff segment/bit. I suppose you end up eventually reaping what you sow and because I’m unfamiliar with his show and his humor, I cannot speak to my thoughts regarding it being appropriate to fire him for what he said. I can, however, speak to my thoughts regarding Al Sharpton’s and Jesse Jackson’s participation and I think they are little more than opportunists who use their title as Reverend to give them political and social clout. They strike me as two folks who lie in wait for someone to give them an opportunity to have their voice heard and then they take up the cause as if they had passionately been involved in the cause from the beginning. I know that both are old school guys from the Martin Luther King days and that they may have, at one time, actually stood for something other than their own face getting into the media, so to possibly give credit where credit may be due, here’s to them for the early days.Now, as for today, they both seem to do little more than be the same as the ambulance chasing attorneys, only now for a long standing cause of bigotry that they focus on being more of a conspiracy theory than not. Again, I think Imus has to play out the hand he dealt and I don’t agree with the kind of humor he’s reportedly made a living entertaining, but I do also think that there are far more DJ’s of other ethnicities than those merely Caucasian, that use bigotry and racist language within their own cultures and joke about the same thing that Imus did, only they don’t have the notoriety and publicity that he has and it is not in Sharpton’s or Jackson’s “best interests” to go after those folks.
Just thinking about Sharpton makes my stomach hurt.
A week ago, last Tuesday, I suffered another medium sized attack that I had briefly alluded to on that Tuesday’s blog entry. That morning I hadn’t felt very good and was just trying to keep my head up and hang on to a somewhat reasonable attitude, but as the morning progressed, my body became very cold and I began to sweat like crazy again. It is a very strange physiological sensation to feel very cold and clammy and then find pools of sweat wherever my arms rest and my T shirt soaks through, enough that I can actually wring it out after taking it off. There’s a visual image you didn’t want, huh? Me either. I went outside to sit in the sun to dry off and warm up if I could and while out there I felt that incredible panic that I had felt months back while in the FLC at work just before the attack hit there, only this time, I was terrified that I wouldn’t see CC and the kids again…that one was more vicious than the attack in the FLC. CC came home while I was sitting outside and we talked briefly about how I was feeling and then CC said I got up and kind of stumbled along with the use of the cane, back into the living room and collapsed on the couch. She gave me some liquid K+ and about 30 minutes later I was able to look around and began to feel like someone had kicked the crap out of me again; a feeling I have begun to be far more familiar with than I would care to be.
Next attack was Friday night during the rehearsal dinner when I became disoriented during dinner and had a difficult time keeping my bearings and felt weak and sweaty. We exited without incident or drawing attention to my and my situation, which was definitely preferable.
Saturday morning I changed clothes once before even leaving the hotel room, due to soaking through my clothes. I felt very fatigued and simply hoped to postpone any incident until after the wedding and reception and, praise God, there was not incident to speak of. We were out until after 11 PM that night and I ran out of steam a bit before that, but the night was a great night and was not marred by anything that I was aware of.
This past Wednesday, CC picked me up after I worked out at Physical Therapy and we went to Penny’s to return some of the clothes that we’d bought for the wedding. While we were waiting for the supervisor to make the exchanges, I began to feel weak and had to lean against the counter to stay upright. CC helped me walk back to the car and then I felt like I was crashing again by the time we got home. She got me to the couch and then more liquid K+ and it began to subside. It was after this attack that she talked fairly directly about her confidence (actually, lack thereof) in my attending the NAB convention in Vegas next week, which I had already bought my plane ticket for and had reserved an electric scooter for.
I’m now not going to go and have cancelled my reservations and am looking to see if I can get a refund for my plane fare or not, being it’s because of medical reasons. I’m way sad not to go, but would be in worse shape if something happened while away from her.
Here are some pics of a scene from our front yard after we returned from Hollister.
A swarm of honey bees took up residence in our front yard pine tree which branches over our walkway. I could not begin to guess how many bees were in this swarm, but it was impressive. 
Yesterday, I called a bee keeper in Sacramento and he and a colleague came and brought a bee hive box out, held it up under the swarm and then jolted the branch holding the swarm and 95% of them fell onto and into the waiting bee box while a few fell to the ground in a daze and a few took to the air to get their bearings.
After this, he placed the bee box directly below the branch they were on and the rest of the bees seemed to find their way into their new home by nightfall. By this morning, they were all gone. No more bees in our yard.
I bugs me to go days without writing much, but at the same time, sometimes it is difficult to write due to how I feel or the time it takes to write out my thoughts and not really having that time, conveniently.
I haven’t said anything officially on here as of yet regarding my job, but it’s pretty official at this point; I no longer work for FOPC; as of March 31, there would be no more insurance coverage and that pretty well closed the deal. Reality shows itself in many different forms, depending on the circumstance and in this case, the realities were that I haven’t worked since November 8 of last year and there was/is no end in sight. If I could think of manners in which I would want to transition from employment, this would not come up on the list, but it would certainly be in front of termination.
I was not terminated.
I simply was unable to return to work as work would and did describe the position I would have returned to. I’m still in mourning over it and have been now for some time. It’s impressively hard to “move on” when you don’t have something to move on to, and I don’t at this point.
Rob, who was my colleague and Chief Technician, is now and has been handling my role’s responsibilities since my absence, and he’s been doing a grand job which is without dispute. I consider him a true and good friend and am blessed by our friendship. Geoff was brought in to cover Rob’s role when Rob needed to step into my role, so, even though the department didn’t move forward in any really substantive step by bringing on another tech because my absence still leaves two techs in the department, Geoff’s work ethic and abilities allow the two of them to accomplish more than just Rob and I. I realize that reads like I couldn’t pull my own weight and I realize that there are some there at FOPC who think that is true, but there are different degrees of weight which had to be pulled and what I was limited to in the physical, I wasn’t limited to in the realms of leadership, political and business, though I have very little affection for the last two. Every church, regardless of size, has a political system and is a business operating with a budget; sometimes that budget is well into the millions of dollars and must be handled incredibly delicately and that requires business people to take care of business matters and those often conflict in the real word of ministry. I think that’s very unfortunate, but I think it is true nonetheless. I was once “complimented’ by a pastor at another church; “It’s really good you are here, Wade. You allow the rest of us to do ministry and not have to get caught up in and take care of the technical.” I accepted his heart on the intended compliment, but was angered by the perspective that my crew and I were little more than technical custodians. He saw me as being a business element necessary to “help” his ministry. I saw then, and see now, our ministry and our association (http://www.cmma.us) as a MINISTRY that helps and aids other ministries, not to mention directly ministers to those who attend a service, an event, or any other function where sound, lighting, computer graphics and or video use utilized. We are the front line players you aren’t supposed to see and are often the ones forgotten when “Thank You” speeches are written or spoken “off the cuff” after an event. Those who work in the Media Tech industry, especially in the House of Worship’s Media Tech industry, don’t become part of it because they want recognition or to be known. Hopefully, they are answering a call of God on their lives and as such, simply are doing what they are called to do. That doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be thanked; more often than not, if it wasn’t for them, there’d be only acoustical sound and natural or architectural light to illuminate any from of production; be it a Sunday Worship service, a memorial service, a wedding, a play, theater, a drama or even a meeting where one or more people want to communicate to more people than can hear them acoustically. No radio, no TV, no movies, no rock/country/blues/metal/pop/etc. concerts can generally take place without someone controlling sound, using a microphone, aiming a light and turning it on/up/down/off and or projecting any supportive/informative images on some screen someplace.
We do a lot.
And I’m proud of what I did and what my crew does and has done.
I’m proud of what our industry provides and even more often, of how we provide it.
In a church environment in particular, there are three universal departments that, daily, handle last minute calls for help and last minute requests; Media Technologies, Facilities and Hospitality. Each of these departments provides services that enable other departments to hold and carry out functions and gatherings, regardless of the base. Some churches may not officially have these departments, but I feel confident that they have at least one person who is responsible to set out a microphone and attach it to a mixer someplace, set up a table and chairs, make note that someone wants to use a room in a building someplace and prepares that room for its use. One way or another, these services are provided either by those who need it done or by those who are helping those in need. Media Technologies, Facilities and Hospitality are each departments of the “Helps” ministry. We don’t JUST help enable others to perform ministry; we minister too.
Hhmmm…I guess I have some opinion on the topic…
Due to the obvious change in my life and the lives of my family, my emotions are all over the place and while I was out today, I stopped by FOPC to pick up more of my stuff from what was my office and that reality just stung for a while, though my thoughts often went in the direction of my crew and how much I enjoy(d) them. I plan to come by on a particular Sunday to see them again and also hope to set up some kind of dinner or something with all of them some time sooner than later. This part of the forced transition is more than painful.
I miss my friends.
I’ve been reading over the past couple weeks about the Imus situation from radio and now that he’s been fired from CBS because of his comment during an off the cuff segment/bit. I suppose you end up eventually reaping what you sow and because I’m unfamiliar with his show and his humor, I cannot speak to my thoughts regarding it being appropriate to fire him for what he said. I can, however, speak to my thoughts regarding Al Sharpton’s and Jesse Jackson’s participation and I think they are little more than opportunists who use their title as Reverend to give them political and social clout. They strike me as two folks who lie in wait for someone to give them an opportunity to have their voice heard and then they take up the cause as if they had passionately been involved in the cause from the beginning. I know that both are old school guys from the Martin Luther King days and that they may have, at one time, actually stood for something other than their own face getting into the media, so to possibly give credit where credit may be due, here’s to them for the early days.
Just thinking about Sharpton makes my stomach hurt.
A week ago, last Tuesday, I suffered another medium sized attack that I had briefly alluded to on that Tuesday’s blog entry. That morning I hadn’t felt very good and was just trying to keep my head up and hang on to a somewhat reasonable attitude, but as the morning progressed, my body became very cold and I began to sweat like crazy again. It is a very strange physiological sensation to feel very cold and clammy and then find pools of sweat wherever my arms rest and my T shirt soaks through, enough that I can actually wring it out after taking it off. There’s a visual image you didn’t want, huh? Me either. I went outside to sit in the sun to dry off and warm up if I could and while out there I felt that incredible panic that I had felt months back while in the FLC at work just before the attack hit there, only this time, I was terrified that I wouldn’t see CC and the kids again…that one was more vicious than the attack in the FLC. CC came home while I was sitting outside and we talked briefly about how I was feeling and then CC said I got up and kind of stumbled along with the use of the cane, back into the living room and collapsed on the couch. She gave me some liquid K+ and about 30 minutes later I was able to look around and began to feel like someone had kicked the crap out of me again; a feeling I have begun to be far more familiar with than I would care to be.
Next attack was Friday night during the rehearsal dinner when I became disoriented during dinner and had a difficult time keeping my bearings and felt weak and sweaty. We exited without incident or drawing attention to my and my situation, which was definitely preferable.
Saturday morning I changed clothes once before even leaving the hotel room, due to soaking through my clothes. I felt very fatigued and simply hoped to postpone any incident until after the wedding and reception and, praise God, there was not incident to speak of. We were out until after 11 PM that night and I ran out of steam a bit before that, but the night was a great night and was not marred by anything that I was aware of.
This past Wednesday, CC picked me up after I worked out at Physical Therapy and we went to Penny’s to return some of the clothes that we’d bought for the wedding. While we were waiting for the supervisor to make the exchanges, I began to feel weak and had to lean against the counter to stay upright. CC helped me walk back to the car and then I felt like I was crashing again by the time we got home. She got me to the couch and then more liquid K+ and it began to subside. It was after this attack that she talked fairly directly about her confidence (actually, lack thereof) in my attending the NAB convention in Vegas next week, which I had already bought my plane ticket for and had reserved an electric scooter for.
I’m now not going to go and have cancelled my reservations and am looking to see if I can get a refund for my plane fare or not, being it’s because of medical reasons. I’m way sad not to go, but would be in worse shape if something happened while away from her.
Here are some pics of a scene from our front yard after we returned from Hollister.
A swarm of honey bees took up residence in our front yard pine tree which branches over our walkway. I could not begin to guess how many bees were in this swarm, but it was impressive. 
Yesterday, I called a bee keeper in Sacramento and he and a colleague came and brought a bee hive box out, held it up under the swarm and then jolted the branch holding the swarm and 95% of them fell onto and into the waiting bee box while a few fell to the ground in a daze and a few took to the air to get their bearings.
After this, he placed the bee box directly below the branch they were on and the rest of the bees seemed to find their way into their new home by nightfall. By this morning, they were all gone. No more bees in our yard.More over the weekend at some point.
peace
peace
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