Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Wow. Time just keeps flying by without even slowing just a little bit…as noted in the last post from last night, this past weekend, though monumental in terms of the calendar year, flew by with the presence of my parents here helping us complete some household tasks we could not accomplish without help. I cannot begin to express my gratitude.
Two major accomplishments which have been tasks for several months now, and with my health in its current state seemed impossible to pursue, were to sand and paint our master bathroom (paint was chipping in the ceiling as well as the walls) and to install a bathroom fan in the same bathroom.
We succeeded in beginning and finishing these jobs thanks to my dad and mom covering the bulk of the jobs.
Current music is old school KISS from Strutter to KISS Alive. Some “Cold Gin” mixed in there as well. No one says “I’m so Tired” quite like Mr. Simmons…Gotta love it. Song now: “I love It Loud!”. HUGE bass drum and gang vocals. It’s refreshing to go back to some simple rock and roll basics, like KISS. Moving on-
I’ve realized that I did not share what Christmas Day and evening was for us. On a previous blog entry I noted that we were heading to my Aunt and Uncle’s in Roseville, to celebrate Christmas dinner with them and their two sons (my cousins) and our dinner was wonderful; time enjoyably spent with family. After dinner, it was presents time which I thought were gifts from family but they were, in fact, gifts that had been brought to their house anonymously earlier that morning in expectation of our arrival that afternoon. This was a complete surprise and just floored us. Someone had brought gifts for my children, my wife and me including gift cards for a grocery store and gas card as well. All without names. I have no way to thank anyone except through this, so please know, whoever you are, that you have completely blessed me and my family deeply and you have showed a love for us that I thought almost inconceivable. I don’t mean that in some self-abusing manner or pity party, but the selflessness of whoever did this act of kindness was so far out of the realm of my level of expectation that I was left without words to say. The pic shows and excited young girl on Christmas night.
As CC and I drove home, we shared in our shock with each and tried to speculate (fruitlessly) as to who might have orchestrated or done this loving act. We discussed our recognition that regardless of church politics, church business, rules and employee handbooks, the CHURCH itself is alive and thriving while providing for those who are in need. I’ve spent my career on the OTHER side of the fence and have heard of the church in this sense but never had the touch of it in our lives until now. She and I long for that aspect of church life but my business has always gotten in the way due to the schedule and constraints of the facts and regulations as they pertain to my responsibilities, if that makes sense. Had it not been for many of you who have come to our aid and blessed us with food and other means, we would be trashed, thrashed and in need of a place to live, etc. That sounds pretty drastic, but it IS circumstances like these that are the cornerstones to people loosing their grip on family and home and finding themselves without a home and all of its trappings. Thank God that we have the close and extended family we do have or I don’t know that we would have made it this far. Christmas night was one to remember for the rest of our lives and our children’s lives as well. Those who contributed, may God bless you as tenderly as you have blessed us.
Today, Joshy and I spent the bulk of the day together while Nana and CC were at Nana’s appt. and Missy then went with CC to go shopping with her gift cards she got at Christmas. One of the seriously cool things from this time with Joshy was recording a portion of a song idea together. He picked out a drum loop he like and I put it in the multi track software and he wanted to play guitar to the beat first then keyboards. 
I don’t know how to include any audio onto the web or I’d link it for you to check out purely for the entertainment of it. It was the first time he and I actually sat down and DID something like that. He was both embarrassed and proud at the same time when we played it for a very excited mom and sister who came home just as we finished. That is seriously cool in my book. Here’s a pic from that moment:
Wow. Time just keeps flying by without even slowing just a little bit…as noted in the last post from last night, this past weekend, though monumental in terms of the calendar year, flew by with the presence of my parents here helping us complete some household tasks we could not accomplish without help. I cannot begin to express my gratitude.
Two major accomplishments which have been tasks for several months now, and with my health in its current state seemed impossible to pursue, were to sand and paint our master bathroom (paint was chipping in the ceiling as well as the walls) and to install a bathroom fan in the same bathroom.
We succeeded in beginning and finishing these jobs thanks to my dad and mom covering the bulk of the jobs.Current music is old school KISS from Strutter to KISS Alive. Some “Cold Gin” mixed in there as well. No one says “I’m so Tired” quite like Mr. Simmons…Gotta love it. Song now: “I love It Loud!”. HUGE bass drum and gang vocals. It’s refreshing to go back to some simple rock and roll basics, like KISS. Moving on-
I’ve realized that I did not share what Christmas Day and evening was for us. On a previous blog entry I noted that we were heading to my Aunt and Uncle’s in Roseville, to celebrate Christmas dinner with them and their two sons (my cousins) and our dinner was wonderful; time enjoyably spent with family. After dinner, it was presents time which I thought were gifts from family but they were, in fact, gifts that had been brought to their house anonymously earlier that morning in expectation of our arrival that afternoon. This was a complete surprise and just floored us. Someone had brought gifts for my children, my wife and me including gift cards for a grocery store and gas card as well. All without names. I have no way to thank anyone except through this, so please know, whoever you are, that you have completely blessed me and my family deeply and you have showed a love for us that I thought almost inconceivable. I don’t mean that in some self-abusing manner or pity party, but the selflessness of whoever did this act of kindness was so far out of the realm of my level of expectation that I was left without words to say. The pic shows and excited young girl on Christmas night.
As CC and I drove home, we shared in our shock with each and tried to speculate (fruitlessly) as to who might have orchestrated or done this loving act. We discussed our recognition that regardless of church politics, church business, rules and employee handbooks, the CHURCH itself is alive and thriving while providing for those who are in need. I’ve spent my career on the OTHER side of the fence and have heard of the church in this sense but never had the touch of it in our lives until now. She and I long for that aspect of church life but my business has always gotten in the way due to the schedule and constraints of the facts and regulations as they pertain to my responsibilities, if that makes sense. Had it not been for many of you who have come to our aid and blessed us with food and other means, we would be trashed, thrashed and in need of a place to live, etc. That sounds pretty drastic, but it IS circumstances like these that are the cornerstones to people loosing their grip on family and home and finding themselves without a home and all of its trappings. Thank God that we have the close and extended family we do have or I don’t know that we would have made it this far. Christmas night was one to remember for the rest of our lives and our children’s lives as well. Those who contributed, may God bless you as tenderly as you have blessed us.
Today, Joshy and I spent the bulk of the day together while Nana and CC were at Nana’s appt. and Missy then went with CC to go shopping with her gift cards she got at Christmas. One of the seriously cool things from this time with Joshy was recording a portion of a song idea together. He picked out a drum loop he like and I put it in the multi track software and he wanted to play guitar to the beat first then keyboards. 
I don’t know how to include any audio onto the web or I’d link it for you to check out purely for the entertainment of it. It was the first time he and I actually sat down and DID something like that. He was both embarrassed and proud at the same time when we played it for a very excited mom and sister who came home just as we finished. That is seriously cool in my book. Here’s a pic from that moment:Now it’s “Sweet Emotion” via Aerosmith…
I got a call from MetLife on Sunday evening, saying that it is my responsibility to get the info that they are requesting form Kaiser or my claim will be closed. After my shock, I called them back and hit back at the person who answered and said that it was incredible bad form to call me on New Years Eve to dump that on me when everyone’s on vacation and there’s nothing I can do about it. They said it was my responsibility to get them the information because it is in my bets interests to help them get the info they seek so I can receive benefits. They threatened to cut off any short term benefits I might be receiving through them until they get what they want…I explained that it’s a joke to me that their company is so detached from itself to not have their own facts straight and know that I’m not receiving ANY benefits at this point and WON’T be receiving any until sometime in February, assuming I DON’T go back to work as I’m planning to do in February. Okay, I wasn’t quite so in their face as I felt like being, but the flavor was certainly conveyed. I was so pissed off. A call earlier in the day, previous to that call in the evening, had another person from the same company calling to say that we’d begin to receive benefits in January…completely opposite of what we had been told previously, so I called them back and asked them if this was IN FACT correct and they said whoever called was mistaken…IN-FRICKEN-CREDIBLE. I scolded them for that stunt as well. Sunday was an emotional rollercoaster between all the phone calls.
Also on Sunday, Joshy, my mom and I attended the 9:30 service at FOP and I got to see several of my team during service. That SERIOUSLY warmed my heart and gave me strength for the rest of the day. Since no one expected me, I think most were fairly surprised at my attendance. Craig Fetter was guest-mixing for the 11:00 FLC service (formerly always referred to as SML or Sunday Morning Live). That was always a blast to see him back in the dress black logo’d shirt and all. There are new faces on the crew which is very cool but kind of awkward since I don’t know who they are and I’m still the guy over the crew, but then, I’m not there and I’m in absentia, so to speak. I’m very encouraged that things are going as smoothly as they appear at this point. No mistake, I KNOW how tough and difficult it is. My heart is solidly with the crew and their work. They rock.
The pic here is of the cabinet/shelving I made the other day after receiving the bombshell that we would not receive ANY Short term Disability. It was a good "constructive" use of my energy.
I got a call from MetLife on Sunday evening, saying that it is my responsibility to get the info that they are requesting form Kaiser or my claim will be closed. After my shock, I called them back and hit back at the person who answered and said that it was incredible bad form to call me on New Years Eve to dump that on me when everyone’s on vacation and there’s nothing I can do about it. They said it was my responsibility to get them the information because it is in my bets interests to help them get the info they seek so I can receive benefits. They threatened to cut off any short term benefits I might be receiving through them until they get what they want…I explained that it’s a joke to me that their company is so detached from itself to not have their own facts straight and know that I’m not receiving ANY benefits at this point and WON’T be receiving any until sometime in February, assuming I DON’T go back to work as I’m planning to do in February. Okay, I wasn’t quite so in their face as I felt like being, but the flavor was certainly conveyed. I was so pissed off. A call earlier in the day, previous to that call in the evening, had another person from the same company calling to say that we’d begin to receive benefits in January…completely opposite of what we had been told previously, so I called them back and asked them if this was IN FACT correct and they said whoever called was mistaken…IN-FRICKEN-CREDIBLE. I scolded them for that stunt as well. Sunday was an emotional rollercoaster between all the phone calls.
Also on Sunday, Joshy, my mom and I attended the 9:30 service at FOP and I got to see several of my team during service. That SERIOUSLY warmed my heart and gave me strength for the rest of the day. Since no one expected me, I think most were fairly surprised at my attendance. Craig Fetter was guest-mixing for the 11:00 FLC service (formerly always referred to as SML or Sunday Morning Live). That was always a blast to see him back in the dress black logo’d shirt and all. There are new faces on the crew which is very cool but kind of awkward since I don’t know who they are and I’m still the guy over the crew, but then, I’m not there and I’m in absentia, so to speak. I’m very encouraged that things are going as smoothly as they appear at this point. No mistake, I KNOW how tough and difficult it is. My heart is solidly with the crew and their work. They rock.
The pic here is of the cabinet/shelving I made the other day after receiving the bombshell that we would not receive ANY Short term Disability. It was a good "constructive" use of my energy. New Years eve was pretty quiet and because of all the day’s work on the bathroom, I was horizontal by 9 PM, though I didn’t manage to get to sleep before 1:00 AM thanks to my CHILDREN who just HAD to stay up late to celebrate the New Year. Actually, it was cool as most New Years Eve’s are, just lower key is all. I watched the “Ace of Cakes” marathon on the Cooking Channel. That was actually fun to watch. The guy (Duff) is incredible. Also, we got a call around 12:20 AM from my niece Kirsten in Hungary! How cool is that?! My sister and her youngest went to visit Kirsten just after Christmas so we are waiting for their return this month before we celebrate Christmas with them. Kirsten comes back in February and we are SO EXCITED to see her upon her arrival at the airport.
One of the things I have reluctantly followed over the past few weeks is the public war of words between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell. From all that I have observed, Trump didn’t throw the first punch and didn’t see the it coming either, but I’ve never known him to back down form a fight in the papers or media and this one is no exception. I clicked on the link to Rosie’s site and was impacted by her then latest blog entry which I’ll include here:
Posted by ro on December 29th at 5:57pm in home:
it is hard adjusting to re fameOne of the things I have reluctantly followed over the past few weeks is the public war of words between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell. From all that I have observed, Trump didn’t throw the first punch and didn’t see the it coming either, but I’ve never known him to back down form a fight in the papers or media and this one is no exception. I clicked on the link to Rosie’s site and was impacted by her then latest blog entry which I’ll include here:
Posted by ro on December 29th at 5:57pm in home:
it is hard adjusting to re fame
i find myself getting angry
wasting timein the dark
swamp people-we like what is familiar
swamp people-we like what is familiar
u r fat u r ugly
worthless
i fell out of the new kayak
i fell out of the new kayak
the kids thought it a riot
blake said i was 2 heavy
i think he is right
vivi is 4
vivi is 4
and not a baby anymore
as i was drying off
she walked over to me
u ok mama
u ok mama
yes i said
embarrassed
a little ashamed
she took my hand
she took my hand
it’s ok 2 b big
quoting her favorite todd parr book
life the search for clean water in a swamp
quoting her favorite todd parr book
life the search for clean water in a swamp
journey on
stranger/friends
After reading this entry, I was struck with a small window of view into her life pain of just being her with her life issues. On the one hand, I feel badly for her and some of her circumstances, however, she has crafted much of her life and has only herself to hold accountable. She’s very upset about a number of different social and governmental issues, not the least of which is gay rights and respect, and she uses her site to vent her feelings and thoughts in a very public way. I’m not much different in my venting as well, but I’m not in the public eye and the attention she seems to seek, I think, will likely only bring more pain. I’m not being critical of her choice to vent either, but I’m concerned for the repercussions, I guess. I used to use my gifts in music to reach out to the Jr. High and High School kids of California for Christ and His message and was not apologetic about it, so I don’t suppose it appropriate for me to be critical of those in positions of fame to use their fame in an effort to change the political landscape as I tried to change the spiritual one. Of course, I doubt Rosie or any other person of fame gets the spiritual crap beat out of them for siding against God and His Word. I DO know that if you pursue His work and His call on your life that your life becomes pierced on a daily basis by spiritual shrapnel from enemy emotional and egocentric detonations. We bleed daily from these wounds, seeming unseen and unperceived in many cases; just painful interactions with those you love and respect which are tainted and results of the heart’s blood from these attacks of self. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else but me, but I see it pretty clearly in my nearsighted mind’s eye.
After reading this entry, I was struck with a small window of view into her life pain of just being her with her life issues. On the one hand, I feel badly for her and some of her circumstances, however, she has crafted much of her life and has only herself to hold accountable. She’s very upset about a number of different social and governmental issues, not the least of which is gay rights and respect, and she uses her site to vent her feelings and thoughts in a very public way. I’m not much different in my venting as well, but I’m not in the public eye and the attention she seems to seek, I think, will likely only bring more pain. I’m not being critical of her choice to vent either, but I’m concerned for the repercussions, I guess. I used to use my gifts in music to reach out to the Jr. High and High School kids of California for Christ and His message and was not apologetic about it, so I don’t suppose it appropriate for me to be critical of those in positions of fame to use their fame in an effort to change the political landscape as I tried to change the spiritual one. Of course, I doubt Rosie or any other person of fame gets the spiritual crap beat out of them for siding against God and His Word. I DO know that if you pursue His work and His call on your life that your life becomes pierced on a daily basis by spiritual shrapnel from enemy emotional and egocentric detonations. We bleed daily from these wounds, seeming unseen and unperceived in many cases; just painful interactions with those you love and respect which are tainted and results of the heart’s blood from these attacks of self. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else but me, but I see it pretty clearly in my nearsighted mind’s eye.
Listening to Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Dive” from “Speechless”. Hearing this tune takes me straight back to driving the Highways and Freeways of Dallas Texas, blasting that CD in the rental car, in pursuit of seeking out the better church sound system designs on behalf of my then employer, MPPC in Menlo Park. I learned so much on that 2 week trip to Texas, Illinois, and Tennessee about system design and application. I think it was pivotal in my career.
Today, Wednesday, has been also a day of filling out STUPID amount of forms and paperwork for MetLife and Kaiser as it seems that each points the finger at the other as to information stoppages. Simply amazing. We had hoped to get out and do more but no such luck. I did take Joshy for a quick, around the block, bike ride; a test for me to see if I could do it or not and to se if there would be any punishment for it and so far, no punishment other than my complete exhaustion. I go from walking with a cane most of last week to riding a bike for about 15 minutes…a bizarre route of life for now, I guess. The nausea has been less and less for the most part but that’s an aspect of my trials that I SO don’t understand in the midst of all of this crap. Why that? *sigh*
All these forms have you answer yes or no to the questions then “please explain” on the one or two lines provided. Their questions get pretty damn invasive. Pissed me off to have to fill out the forms in the first place then to answer such personal questions but bugs me deep. You could just say “oh Wade, just let it go. Don’t let these little things get you down” and I’d probably reply “duck!” and then throw a punch…kidding…kinda…kinda not…know what I mean?
It’s now a new month and we are back in the place of grasping for some manner to cover this month’s mortgage payment again. Last month, the church came though in the final moments and saved us and now we are within 12 days of running out of time again. *sigh* I know there MUST be an end in sight but it doesn’t feel like it, seem like or look like it and my panic runs just beneath my skin, not yet completely visible. I’m somewhere between hating and detesting having to ask for help, but I have been counseled by close friends that there is no shame in it (though it feels like it) and that Jesus often asked those He was healing and caring for, what it was that they wanted, though He knew before they said it. One of the keys was that they needed to voice their need to Him. I’m trying to take refuge in that but it is harder than it writes.
Today, Wednesday, has been also a day of filling out STUPID amount of forms and paperwork for MetLife and Kaiser as it seems that each points the finger at the other as to information stoppages. Simply amazing. We had hoped to get out and do more but no such luck. I did take Joshy for a quick, around the block, bike ride; a test for me to see if I could do it or not and to se if there would be any punishment for it and so far, no punishment other than my complete exhaustion. I go from walking with a cane most of last week to riding a bike for about 15 minutes…a bizarre route of life for now, I guess. The nausea has been less and less for the most part but that’s an aspect of my trials that I SO don’t understand in the midst of all of this crap. Why that? *sigh*
All these forms have you answer yes or no to the questions then “please explain” on the one or two lines provided. Their questions get pretty damn invasive. Pissed me off to have to fill out the forms in the first place then to answer such personal questions but bugs me deep. You could just say “oh Wade, just let it go. Don’t let these little things get you down” and I’d probably reply “duck!” and then throw a punch…kidding…kinda…kinda not…know what I mean?
It’s now a new month and we are back in the place of grasping for some manner to cover this month’s mortgage payment again. Last month, the church came though in the final moments and saved us and now we are within 12 days of running out of time again. *sigh* I know there MUST be an end in sight but it doesn’t feel like it, seem like or look like it and my panic runs just beneath my skin, not yet completely visible. I’m somewhere between hating and detesting having to ask for help, but I have been counseled by close friends that there is no shame in it (though it feels like it) and that Jesus often asked those He was healing and caring for, what it was that they wanted, though He knew before they said it. One of the keys was that they needed to voice their need to Him. I’m trying to take refuge in that but it is harder than it writes.
This shot is from the most recent Halden visit. Note the boys are no long "little" any more in any respect and we have men in the house now. Cool.Well, more to write and another time. Sorry to have been delinquent in my giving here.
Peace and Happy New Year.
Peace and Happy New Year.
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