Christmas Collection: Thurs-Monday

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Well, more time has passed than I had anticipated. I was hoping to have better kept a log going than the past few days represents. It hasn’t been avoidance so much as it has been not allocating the time.
I’m going to try and remember the past few days’ activities…

Thursday:
Today it was raining all day. Though I love the rain, today was just a bad day waiting to happen. I woke up angry and didn’t try very hard to shake the mood. I guess I was just tired and was in the place of throwing up my hands in disgust at life. Anyway, at my wife’s request, I went to the Tire place that needed to re-bleed the braking system on the van and had them finish that job. Across the street from that place is a Red Robin so I went there and waited for the job to be completed and had fish and chips for lunch. While there I spoke to my mom for quite some time as we spoke about the current circumstances, the “what if’s” and what not and I found myself regaining some clarity and perspective as well as some resolve. After the tire shop was done, they called me and I went over and picked up the van and decided to drive to Best Buy to buy CC’s Christmas present. She has asked for only one thing which is a car stereo for the van since the one now in the van has been dying every day and dying painfully and frustratingly. I found my self in the place of saying that regardless of everything going on, I’m GOING to get CC the ONE present she’s asked for, though I knew without a doubt she would like to pull her request back due to our ongoing situation. I went and picked out the stereo I thought she’d want and would enjoy and that was that. Most all of the monies we have received have gone straight to bills regardless of the notations and sentiments on the cards or emails; we have had to put the money towards the obligations. I wanted to make sure she received a gift from me this year and a gift she’d use and enjoy daily rather than be one she’d see or use on occasion. Needless to say, she was happy to receive the stereo, but her knowledge of our situation over-rode her happiness and I was back in my funk. That’s certainly NOT to say she was the responsible one for my mood, I believe that moods are choices more than not. I didn’t need much of an invitation to be bummed; I’ve got that disposition on speed dial, so to speak. Anyway, I was hoping for the night to be more “up” but it ended back in stress and I held the keys to the bulk of the necessary chains.

Friday:
After picking up the kids from school, some folks within the school staff blessed us with some gift certificates to some of the local stores so we could go and buy presents for the kids and buy some groceries! It is so hard to describe the feeling of being cared for; being loved at a different level than we are used to and than we are comfortable with. Thanks to the gift cards, the kids will have presents from us this Christmas and we will be able to get some presents for some family and friend’s children, which otherwise we could not even consider. On the way home from picking the kids up from school, we made the poor choice of take the kids with us to ToysRUs to help us know what they wanted, but we should have just taken them home and fed them, which is usually what we do. By going to the store and NOT getting them food first, we set them up for a stressful shopping trip and we set ourselves up for an unfruitful excursion. We stayed in the store for about 30 minutes until we realized our mistake at which point we left and took them home and made them some food.

Obviously, there are some significant struggles we are facing right now and so we find ourselves reacting far more often than responding. Another major blessing today was receiving a call from one of the folks within the choir who was working in coordination with a shop owner from Orangevale who wanted to give turkey dinners to families who could use them or is in need and our name was given to him. I was called and asked if we would be willing to receive the gift of a dinner (complete). I was almost speechless, again. I shared the news with CC and we were both just floored. We accepted his off and he said the dinner would be brought to us on Sunday night. Speechless again…
After dinner, CC and I went back out and we were very successful and better focused and even able to use a couple of the ideas that the kids had shared with us during the first attempt. This was one of the few time in recent past that she and I have had some one on one time to go out together. I had shared with her that I wanted the opportunity to shop this Christmas, something I have not been able to do in many years. As a matter of fact, this is the first Christmas that both CC and I are off Christmas Eve and Christmas since before Joshua was born. Hard to believe. As long as Joshua has been alive, I have not been home for a Christmas Eve.

Saturday:
Today was the most special day of the Winter for me so far because my brother of many, many years came up to see me and the family. Harry Reynolds and I have been brothers since Jr. High and the last time I saw him was in July of this year, during my trip to Long Beach, where he lives, and he and I had dinner together, just a few short hours before I drove all night to be back in time for Missy’s Fire Camp Finale which then landed me in Kaiser for a while again…Anyway, he drove up yesterday morning and joined me and CC and the kids as we went to CC’s brother’s place in Shingle Springs for Brunch. I cannot begin to share to what extent it was a blessing to my heart to see him and have a few hours with him. Hearing his voice, listening to his views and observations as only Harry does. After leaving Chris’s house and heading back we stopped by our house to give him the five cent tour then he and I took off in my truck to head to the parking lot where he met us and left his truck when he joined up with us earlier that morning. I put the stereo up to a comfy volume and we listened to Santana’s “Open Invitation” and “Only Want to Be With You” and then Scorpions ‘The Zoo”. For a moment in time, it was like it had been 20 to 25 years ago when he and I would ride places and just crank music and sing as we drove. It did my soul good. What was especially cool was the kids excitement to see him and get loves from him. Joshy asked some more about him after I got home from taking Harry to his truck and when I told Josh that Harry was going back to the Bay Area to see his parents and family, Joshy was confused and asked how Harry could be my brother but have other parents…how honestly cool is that for him to believe in his heart of hearts that Harry was my flesh and blood brother, regardless of our skin color differences. Harry has always been and will always be my brother and the kids uncle. Joshy got pretty sad when it was time for Harry to leave. I was blessed; rejuvenated in some ways within.
After our time with Harry, I received a call from one of the folks at church who asked if he could stop by in the evening and bring us a full scale turkey dinner for the family. He had noted that the dinner was to be brought Sunday night, but that they were able to get a good start on the dinner deliveries and wanted to know if they could deliver Saturday night instead of Sunday night.
An hour later, or so, there was a knock at the door and two of “Santa’s Elves” were there holding a big grocery bags loaded with food. Again, we were nearly speechless at this immense kindness which was unprovoked, so to speak. Each day has brought an impressive range of emotions and circumstance which has lead us to understand a meaning of “church” than I’m sure many others already know, but we had totally forgotten and had lost the realization of and appreciation of.
Well, after blessing our family with such an incredible gift of food and kindness, I was in a position to have CC’s Christmas present installed in the van for her, something I was not able to afford prior to the Elves coming by. I took Joshy with me and we went to Best Buy and had the car stereo installed. The only thing she had asked for this whole year, was to have a car stereo to replace the dying one in the van. Case in point; yesterday, as we traveled to Shingle Springs and back, the stereo proceeded to begin to scan a CD backwards with no control and then stop suddenly and begin to go up in volume uncontrollably. To preserve sanity, it was shut off several times as we drove. Immensely frustrating.
Of course, we have been battling the whole “priority” issue as to what should be bought and what isn’t necessary and such and I knew that the one gift I could giver her would be the one gift that would be hard to be comfortable with purchasing due to the starting costs of decent decks. Anyway, the one I gave her was reasonably priced (in my opinion) and was definitely on less expensive side but was still money and money is forever tight. Anyway, Joshy and I got some nice time together during the installation time frame but I suffered from my decision to wear cowboy boots for the day. I had not anticipated the price and after being at Best Buy for an hour and a half I could not walk well or fast even with the cane. Friday had been a cane-less day and today had too until around 2:00 PM at my brother-in-law’s place. By tonight, walking slowly was my only option and I was trying to avoid any unnecessary travels if I could help it.
Thanks to the kindness and giving of others, CC and I have been able to pursue a very wonderful Christmas for our family, something I feel would have been nearly impossible in practicality without the help of others, as there has been.

Sunday, Christmas Eve:
I woke this morning around 5ish to the sound of Joshy in the hall, trying to get ready to leave with CC and Nana. He went with them as CC took Nana to meet her sister Kim in Fairfield, I think, so that Kim could take Nana for the Holiday week. Joshy had a VERY hard night going to sleep and eventually talked Missy into letting him cuddle with her for a while so he could go to sleep. He wasn’t going to bed or staying in bed as we were asking of and instructing him to do. It is more unusual for him to behave in irrational manners like that; usually I can speak logic to him and have him lock up with it, but in the past few months, he has resisted logic in favor of fear. I think it will be in our family’s best interest to see about someone professional helping us get past the immense fear he currently has. So I digressed again…the point was that CC’s mom is now with CC’s oldest sister in Pacifica and that Joshy got some wonderful one on one time with his mommy this morning.
Also, on the seriously weird and strange front, I had a dream this morning of having an HKPP attack and I was unaware it was a dream until I realized that the EMTs weren’t here and that I was actually in bed asleep. That’s never happened before this. It was truly scary and strange. I’m not sure that there was much of a message within the dream itself other than the fact that an attack lies just out of site. It was truly alarming to wake up from; though I’m thankful it was just a dream this time.
A call came through this morning around 9:20 AM and it was Madoli and Leslie from my tech team at work calling to say I and share with me that they missed us and wanted to know if we would be coming to services this morning or tonight. To this point, I had not been thinking so much of anyone else dealing with this stuff, which I know is way selfish and yet understandable…blah, blah, blah. I felt badly that I have not kept in better contact with my crew since all this has happened. We’ve tried to do a gathering at our house a few times now for the crew but each time has been thwarted by illness or just physical pain.
CC had a doctor appt this morning that she bailed on because they had way-over-booked the appointments for this morning to get as many people in as they could and she was going crazy just waiting infinitely in the reception room with the several other folks who had the same appointment as her. She’s been lying down since then, just resting and watch some TV, something she’s not been able to do. The kids and I have just been hanging out in the front room, they’ve been watching Christmas TV shows/cartoons and I’ve been typing and sampling some MP3’s. Currently checking out “Regulate” by Warren G and Nate Dogg; serious rhyming with an irresistible melodic groove. The lyrics are pretty much ‘hood-based and such from that life style, but the tune is so well done. It’s not a tune I can play for the kids at this point.
Prior to putting the kids to bed, I asked everyone to go to our room and I gather a couple books about the true Christmas story and we all took turns reading pages for a short time then I read it the rest of the way. It helped re-orient us as a family and it prepared the way for Joshy to go to sleep. He grew very tired as we read, which was one of the hopes. After reading, we got the kids down for bed and began wrapping as quickly as we could so we could get to bed sooner than later. Joshy only got up once during the wrapping because he didn’t know that I was THAT serious about them staying in bed and in the room. Both kids had a very tough time getting to sleep in anticipation for tomorrow morning. Missy set out a small dish with a couple cookies for Santa and a Tupperware container she put cornmeal in for the reindeer. After both of them watched “The Polar Express” movie about a child who no longer believes in Santa and is taken on a magical train ride Christmas Eve night to Santa’s crib and ends up believing in the “magic”, both kids now find themselves identifying with the characters in the movie/animation and decided the true test for Santa’s authenticity would be if the cookies will be gone and if the cornmeal was taken. :-o)

Monday, December 25, 2006, Christmas Day
I woke up at 6:00 AM and after listening carefully determining no one else was up, was able to go back to sleep for a couple hours when Missy came in and woke us up around 9:00.
She went in and woke up Joshy and the morning was on…
We walked into the entryway and there was a cornmeal trail leading from the couch, where Missy had placed the Tupperware container, to the fireplace which was open…the cookies were gone as well and the plate was empty. The kids were thrilled as I was frustrated that I had to clean up after a messy Santa. Oh well.
The kids opened their gifts with much delight and were so excited with each gift they opened; different from some Christmases past where there seemed to be an expectation of gifts and such, this Christmas was anything but that, and both kids were joyous. My gift was being here and not in a hospital someplace and Joshy bought me a medium and a small size paint brush since he didn’t remember seeing me using anything like them and thought I didn’t have any. That was a gift that really warmed my heart as well. *sigh*
Annie was given her gift from Joshy, two small teddy bears (which I figure we can zip tie to her crate), but with all the toys and dolls on the floor, Annie paid no mind to anything but the two little teddy bears that we said were hers. It was just amazing to me that she wouldn’t touch the kid’s toys whatsoever but she licked and nibbled at her two dolls and placed them between her two front paws while the rest of the presents were opened, as if she was thinking “these are my two toys and the rest belong to you guys. It was hard to believe.
To heartwarming phone calls today; my brother of many years now, Neil, calling from the Land Down Under (it’s the day after Christmas now over there, ‘round 8-something in the morning.) and my niece Kirsten (Hi hun!) Everyone got to talk to Kirsty and CC and I had a wonderful talk with Neil.
It’s about time to get ready to go to my aunt and uncle’s in Roseville for Christmas afternoon and evening, so I’ll conclude and will try to include a couple pics as well…
Peace, Merry Christmas.